By Chance

Chapter Twenty Seven : By Chance

Brady's POV

Genuine, pure, real happiness.

The pain of losing a loved one never goes away. Anyone who's lost as I have can vouch for me. Sure, the suffering settles slowly overtime, but wishing for them on earth again is something that lasts forever. Not even time can fix it.

Holding onto that feeling can drain a person entirely. Even the most adaptable and resilient get so tired that they can't help but fall down exhausted at least once.

Gaining back the contentment and joy of life after that unique agony is the hardest thing to do. No matter the way someone were to grieve and deal with this new life they've been given, it's so fucking difficult to look at themselves in the mirror and be able to claim actual happiness.

Yet, I've reached that point in my life. I've been able to regain that genuine, pure, real happiness.

Of course I still think about my parents and sister every waking second of my life, and there will never be a day where I don't miss the hell out them. The three wounds in my heart where their souls rest will never heal. Ever.

But, I've also found a sense of peace. They're gone, and I can't do anything about it. So instead of mope around about them like they would never want me to do, I'm going to make them all so fucking proud of me. I'm going to be the son and brother I know I can be. For me and Kaine to be happy is all they ever wanted, and I'll be damned if I don't fulfill that. If not for myself, then for them.

This amazing new calm is all thanks to her.

How the fuck she actually liked me back and admitted it after I said some of the worst words that have ever come out of my mouth is way fucking beyond me. It's something I will never truly understand no matter the number of times it's explained.

I made a promise to her to never treat her like that again, and I will hold onto that promise, even if it's the last thing I do. I will make absolutely fucking sure she doesn't regret her decision.

Now that she's mine, I'm never letting go. I will be the best boyfriend the world's ever known for her. She deserves nothing less than that, and I will not stop bettering myself until she and I are both fully satisfied.

No more stupid fucking pity parties or convincing myself I'm not good enough. That fucking stops now. It has to or else I'll go into that dark hole I finally was able to crawl out of completely. From this point forward, I will only go up. I'm fucking speaking it into existence.

With Summer, we've both found our own individual happiness. She and I have both worked our way out of our own separate hell, and now we can come together and share it with one another. Working on ourselves results in a much healthier relationship, and that's all I want.

Fuck sex or pleasure or desire (although an extraordinary bonus I'm happily waiting for), I just want a nontoxic relationship that makes both of us better people for ourselves alongside the other.

I realize now that I can't rely on her for my joy, and that goes both ways. With this state of mind, I have to flaunt that we have, as individuals and a couple, been thriving the past few weeks we've been together.

She's my best friend that I get to make out with. She understands me in a way no one else in the entire world does, and the same goes for her. I don't have to try to disguise who I am and what I feel around her. I can just be Brady.

I don't have to pretend like I'm not the biggest sucker for a long ass cuddle session, or have a soft spot for movies about dogs, or sometimes get scared watching horror movies despite how much I love them.