without you « niam

nineteen: before

At nearly nine months, Niall was not very happy. His doctor had officially put him on bed rest, and it was uncomfortable. He needed help doing anything; even simple things such as going to the bathroom he couldn't do alone.

"Mum!" Niall shouted. He could only hope that Maura hadn't left the house and forgotten to tell him (it had happened once).

"Yeah?" Maura jogged into the room. She had been running around a lot lately. Niall had asked her about it once; she said something about when Niall was down, someone needed to be able to run around after a baby.

"Can you help me up? I need to use the bathroom." Maura looked hesitant. She was beginning to be hesitant about letting Niall up at all. He had reported that the doctor said males were more likely to go into labor before nine months. Any movement could trigger labor; Maura knew that herself.

Reluctantly, Maura helped him up. "I'm going to wait right behind the door," she told him. "Please, do call me if you need something."

"I always do, Mum," Niall answered, slightly annoyed. He hated the way his mother was babying him. He himself was about to have a baby!

Once she had let go of him at the doorway, Niall grabbed the sink and leaned himself against it. The (not quite so) little baby was pressing on Niall's bladder and oh, could he feel it.

There was a pressure still pushing down on Niall as he relieved himself. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. It felt almost like a cramp, but Niall had never felt a cramp quite like that.

Niall wrote it off as a cramp and pushed himself back through the doorway.

-

After a few hours, the pressure did not go away. In fact, it increased to a point where Niall finally told his mother. "Mum?" He called. Maura had sat him down on the couch in the living room while she worked in the kitchen.

"Yes, love?" She asked as she walked in the room.

"My stomach hurts. It feels like a bunch of pressure, just right," he pushed on the spot, "here."

Maura nearly dropped the plate she was holding. "How long have you felt this?" She asked urgently.

"A few hours," Niall shrugged. "What is it?"

"Niall, find yourself a pair of shoes. I think you're in labor." Maura rushed off to find their shoes, depsite telling Niall to get his own.

He was in labor? Niall wasn't ready for this; he was told he had another month to go. Was his baby alright? Was he fully developed? Niall couldn't afford to panic about everything he hadn't even considered. Maura came back with shoes.

"Put these on. I'll go get the bag I packed you and we'll go to the car." She rushed off again. As best as Niall could over his belly, the blonde put his shoes on. Lucky enough, his mum had picked a pair of slip ons, so he didn't have to worry about tying them.

Maura came back clutching a bag and helped Niall up. "Are you ready to go?" She asked hurriedly. "Oh, it doesn't matter. We need to leave now!"

"Why so urgently?" Niall gasped, clutching his tummy.

"If we hurry and get you there, they might be able to get you a c-section before the baby takes position!" Maura was ushering Niall out the door, with one of her arms on his.

"Mum!" Niall gasped, grabbing onto his stomach. A sharp pain had rippled through him. "Can we please just leave? Without the words?"

Maura nodded her head and led Niall back to the passenger side of the car and laid his seat back for him. "Are you alright? For now, anyway?" Maura asked, pecking Niall's forehead.

"I want Liam," Niall sobbed a bit, grabbing at his stomach. "I know I can't, but I want Liam."

"Liam can't come, darling," Maura said, trying to console Niall. (It didn't work.) "But we can call and tell him, if you'd like."

"No!" Niall gasped. "Just get me to the hospital."

-

The c-section was short. Niall didn't remember much after it, later. He remembered denying his mother when the nurse asked if she would be coming with him. ("If I'm not doing it with Liam, I'm doing it alone!" He had said sharply.) He remembered the sharp pains. He remembered the cry of his baby.

The baby that was now in his arms. Little Keegan James Payne. He was sleeping in Niall's arms. His face looked remarkably of Liam, and the baby was only a day old.

"He looks too much like Liam," Niall whispered to his mum, admitting his fears out loud. "I don't know how I'll handle this."

"You'll do it, Niall," Maura promised. She kissed his forehead. "I'm going to get us some lunch. I think Karen and Ruth will be here in a bit, though." Maura bid him another goodbye before she swung his room door shut.

Niall sighed and looked down at his baby once more. This child was most definitely Liam's. His hair was lighter than Niall's natural color, and Niall had seen his eyes. They were a chocolate colored brown. He was a bit tanner than Niall was.

"You're Liam through and through," Niall grinned, kissing the baby's nose. Keegan's little eyes fluttered open, and he gave a little yawn. "I didn't mean to wake you, babe. Did you have a nice sleep?"

There was a knock at his door, and two heads pecked their way through. "Are daddy and baby awake?" Karen's voice called out.

"We're awake!" Niall answered quietly. Ruth and Karen made their way inside.

"Are you alright?" Ruth asked, running a light hand over Niall's arm. "Maura told us you had a rough time."

"I wouldn't call it so rough." Niall was looking down at the baby in his arms.

"What did you name him again?" Karen spoke.

"Keegan. Keegan James Payne."

•-•

this is so lame i'm sorry

i want my puppy

my hair is so wet and i'm cold

i love winter

i hate winter

w h y

oh well

comment, maybe?

bai

1037 words

(23/10/14)