Switched ~ a Fractured Fairytale

Chapter Twenty-Two ~ Flight to the Forest

The next day, Killian was a little distant. He answered any questions I put to him, but otherwise he was silent, his eyes fixed on the far-off mountains, a frown creasing his brow. Eventually, his taciturn attitude got to me and I gave up trying to make conversation, using the silence as a chance to think.

Whatever was between Killian and I, the fact remained that I was engaged to Alastair and, whether I loved him or not, my first priority must be to Alastair and the alliance. I did feel guilty about what had happened, and I knew Killian did too. But the question that had kept me up all night was not whether I regretted it or not, the question was, did I want it to happen again?

As night fell, I chose a spot beside the Dharya River where a tree offered some small protection from the winds. Despite the heat of the sun during the day, when darkness fell, the deserts became freezing cold, which did not improve my mood.

After a whole day of silence, my patience was running thin. As we set up camp, I had the distinct feeling that Killian was avoiding me. Every time I moved to set up my bedroll or brush Luna down, he would move to another task that always kept him on the other side of the campsite from me. By the time we were settling down for the night, I was in a bit of a temper.

'Look, Killian,' I began as I built up the fire. 'Are we going to talk or just spend the rest of the journey avoiding each other?'

'What is there to say?' Killian said.

'Well, anything is better than nothing,' I said.

'I didn't mean for it to happen!' Killian said, running his fingers through his already messy hair. 'You're my brother's fiancée! And I know what the alliance means to you and I would never want to get between that. This whole trip, I've been telling myself it would never work. You're too high above me, and what about Alastair? I couldn't do that to my own brother!'

I stared at Killian. There was none of his light-hearted joking and easy grins now, his shoulders slumped and his eyes as grey as stormclouds. 

'I've never wanted any of it, the crown, the attention! None of it! And I never had a problem with that! But now, for the first time in my life, I do want something. And now the one thing I want more than anything, I can't have!' he stormed, thumping his fist into the sand. 'Alastair always gets what he wants, and now he gets you too!'

Killian stood and stormed away, leaving me sitting beside the fire, too stunned to think. I picked up the carving of Bear, turning it over in my hands until the real Bear poked his nose into my ear. I smiled, scratching him behind the ears as his tongue lolled out happily.

'He's a strange one, isn't he?' I said softly to Bear. 'I never quite know what he's thinking.'

Bear whined and lay his head on my lap. 

Killian returned about an hour later, carrying two fish, fresh from the river. He tossed the fish beside the fire and sat down, looking intensely at me. He looked much calmer and his hair was damp, as though he had gone swimming.

'Elia,' he said. 'I'm sorry for how I acted just now, my temper got the better of me.'

I opened my mouth, but he held up a hand. 'Please, let me finish. I don't know if I can say this again.'

He paused, looking searchingly at me. I nodded, and he took a deep breath.

'Ellie, I've liked you since we met, and I'm sorry for what happened, but I don't regret it. You are the best person I have ever met, and it might be selfish, but I'm not sorry for how I feel about you.'

I opened my mouth without really knowing what I wanted to say. Killian's declaration had surprised me

'It's alright,' Killian said softly. 'You don't have to say anything.'