Love You Too Much || Reddie

E I G H T

Chapter Eight

Eddie's POV

  He called me babe!
The moment was sweet, meaningful, but short. Because all of a sudden, I saw Richie had whipped his head around and stare at a girl in front of us. I didn't know why. They stared at each other for a moment but I couldn't read Richie's facial expression. I felt a pang if jealousy in my chest. 

The bell rang, signifying the end of class.
My next class was with Bev and Mike, Richie wasn't in this class.
We walked out of class together and I dragged him to the side of the hallway.

"Hey Rich? Why did you stare at that girl in class?" I asked him after everyone had left the area.
"Umm.. it was nothing." He looked anxious. "Rich...you know you can talk to me right?" "Listen, Ed's it's nothing, I swear." He bit the inside of his lip. I've known Richie my whole life and he thinks I don't know when he lies. I do.

  "Whatever. I have to go to class." I walk swiftly down to halls of hell to my next class. Science.
Science was my worst subject out of all my classes. Not only did I have an A-, (when all my other classes had an A+) But Henry Bowers was in this class as well, along with his little buddies.

  At least I have Mike and Bev... I thought to myself. They always stand up for me when I need them too.

Why can't I just stand up for myself for once? Am I just that weak?

  I arrive at science, Sadly. I push open the door and walk into what seems to be like hundreds of eyes staring straight at me. I hear some murmurs and a few giggles as I sit down at my desk.

And I didn't even hear the bell? What the heck? 

   Class gets started, and 10 minutes in, we are working on whatever we need to and having a "catch up day". As my teacher calls it. Me, Mike, and Bev sit at a table in the back as far away from other people as possible.

  "Eddie? What's wrong? Why were you late? Your never late." Mike always tends to as like, hundreds of questions if one of his friends is upset.
"Oh nothing is wrong, I was just a little late. That's all." I didn't know whether I was being honest, or not.
"Eddie, don't be stupid. We know you. And your never late to class. Like, EVER. And you came in with a red face and a tear rolling down your cheek, so please,cut the bull tell us what's up." Bev said. She spoke to me in a stern voice, barely any sympathy. But I liked that. When I was around her, she made me feel strong. Less of a small, child-like, in the closet gay.

"A tear?" I asked. I hadn't known I was crying. "Umm, yeah. You didn't know you were crying?" Bev looked confused.
"Apparently I didn't hear the bell either. That's why I was late." I sheepishly looked down at the ground and fiddled with my pencil.
"Eddie, talk to us. You know you can trust us. Right?" Mike put a strong hand on the pencil I had been tapping to stop it.

  "Right. Sorry..." I don't know why I was so sad. Was I even sad? Or maybe just frustrated, but about what?
"Don't be sorry Eddie. You can't control how your feeling, no one can." Bev put a reassuring but able arm around my shoulder.
"But you have to tell us whats going on, okay?" She asked, looking deep into my eyes. In search of an answer maybe.

"Okay. I promise."
"Good. Now tell us, what's going on with you." 

So I told them everything. From start to finish. From how Richie got kicked out after he came out, to how our relationship formed. Bev screamed and clapped her hands.
"I knew Reddie was real! I fucking knew it!" She yelled across the class room.  Some kids looked at us weird but most of them just ignored the comment.
"That's amazing and all, I'm really happy for you but, that doesn't explain why your sad." Mike pointed out.

  "I-i don't know." I replied.
"Are you sure?" Mike asked. I thought about it. For a good minute, I didn't know why.  But I knew something was agitating me, it was obvious.

Then I knew.

"Richie told me that he was mine, forever. But earlier today, in math, he shared a long stare with this girl in front of us. She's really pretty. And I guess I was jealous. But I was to stubborn to admit it to myself." I took a breath and let the truth sink in.
"But he's gay. Why did it bother you so much Ed?" Bev asked.

"I guess it's because our relationship is fairly new, and him being gay is.. well.... REALLY NEW. And I just got nervous."
I knew that wasn't all. That's not the whole reason.
And apparently so did Mike.

"That's not all is it?" He asked.
I took a slow breath. I've never said this out loud, to anyone.
"Well I-I..."

"Oh forget it! I love him! I love him so much it hurts. I always have, and I don't know how to deal with it." I whisper-yell.

I finally said it. My chest felt so much lighter.