The Smell of Coffee and Paper: A Hamilton Au

Chapter Ten

John Laurens V

I believe that last night's sleep was one of the most peaceful ones I ever had. I wake up feeling incredibly refreshed and ready to-

"Shit it's 8:32!"

Great. I was going to be late. A feeling of deja vu washes over me as I remember Wednesday morning's fiasco where I rushed because I thought I was late. But, right now I was absolutely sure I was late because if Laf and Herc pulled another prank on me I was going to set all of my anger and frustration on them. I couldn't let Alexander experience my angry side. It doesn't come out often, I refuse to be that kind of person, but when it does it's not a pretty sight.

I slam my feet on the ground and stomp off to my dresser, the only thing on my mind being how stupid I was for not setting an alarm. Why am I angry? What has set me off? I honestly don't know, I think it's just the fact that I was so happy that Alexander was eating good food and sleeping with me, I forgot about the rest of my life. God, I was so stupid, so lovesick and I hate myself.

"Shit," I mumble to myself again, much quieter this time though, "Where's Alexander?"

After quickly pulling on a collared shirt and a pair of pants on, I rush into the kitchen, thoughts racing like drag racing driver-- fast and without a glimmer of care of others safety. What if while I was sleeping Alexander snuck out and killed himself?

I walk out to a sweat pant clothed Laf eating toast and quietly watching TV.

"Where's Alexander?!" I wring my hands, nerves getting to me.

"I thought he was with you?"

Shit, he's dead in an alleyway somewhere. I was naive for believing that taking away his gun would stop him. There's other ways to take your own life. Easier ways to end it all. I should've taken more precautions. Should've tried harder.

"Laf!" I yelled out, walking towards the door. Already making a plan of attack. I could skip work today, commit myself to just searching for Alexander. Laf could take the closer alleyways. I would take the alleyways a block or two out. "You check the alleyways within a three block radius. I'll check the ones-"

Laf bursts out laughing, "I'm joking. I'm joking. He's safe. He's with Herc on a run. What did you think happened to him?" His stupid smile never leaving his face. A life is on the line right now. How can he not see this?!

"I think he's DEAD! DEAD LAF! Dead. That's what I think happened to him, Marie."

"No need to get snippy," He confessed throwing up his hands. "I got a note from Herc, Alex went on his run with him."

"You know he doesn't like to be called that."

"I know, I know. But he isn't here to say anything, who is that going to hurt. Not him."

I glare my response, and continue speeding through my routine. Toast would be my breakfast, which honestly isn't bad, but no eggs and oatmeal.

"Stay mad all you want, but I thought that my joke was hilarious. And no one person's opinion will change that fact." He reasoned. It was very flawed Lafayette reasoning, but it was reasoning. Beyond me was how he could be one of the best financial advisers in the state, but he can't just act right.

I ignore him, he doesn't get my attention. I won't give him that satisfaction. So he starts talking again. Nothing shuts him up.

"Anyways," Oh no, here we go, what's he onto now. "He has a very cute smile." So he's talking about Alexander, lovely. "I'll give you that. His face is like a small deer. And you're very bi so he's free to you. And he hasn't mentioned dating anyone. But, Laurens, why him? Why him, he's got enough trauma to sink a ship? Why him?"