Insomnia ✧☽

XIII

viii xxv xviii

You are gone,
I cannot wrap my head around that concept.
I don't want to.
I cannot.
I refuse.

I will wake up tomorrow morning to your beautiful face with only the slightest bit of dried drool on your chin as always.

You will refuse to get out of bed until I rip the covers off you and leave you to freeze in my "subzero" bedroom.

You will sleepily drag yourself to the kitchen and cling onto me for warmth as I make our morning coffee.

After our coffee I will carry you into the bathroom to brush your teeth for you because you are oh so lazy in the morning.

We will carry on with our morning routine and I'll will leave to go to school as you cuddle up with Aurora and fall back asleep.

From the moment you awaken again you will spam me with texts telling me of every minuscule detail of your day, I will promptly ignore them all as I always and you'll send me an "angry" text complaining that you are unloved, even though you know you have my heart, everything you do makes me fall deeper in love with you.

I will send you a quick response,
something like I love you or shut up.

I will go on with my day until I get to come home to you.

I will walk through the door, finding you in the same position you were in when I left minus aurora, who is throwing things around the living room.

I will immediately flop right on top of you,
You will groan out a "franco you're crushing me"
Never forgetting to drag out the 'o' and sounding utterly obnoxious.

I will roll off you and go straight to picking up Aurora and "crush" her with my love and affection, earning a precious high pitched giggle-scream from her and a breathy laugh from you.

After a while of reckless playing I will depart to make dinner whilst you complain every three seconds that you're hungry and for me to hurry up, thus ensuing our playful argument.

After dinner we will put Aurora to sleep and you will go bake something because we both know I'm a reckless baker and never follow a recipe thus making some sort of abomination of a dessert.

I will bother you whilst you bake because it's my job and I've always prided myself on being a hard worker.

Once whatever delicious treat is done, we proceed to eat ever single bit, never leaving a crumb behind while watching some stupid trash tv show you adore but I find insufferable.

You will whine for me to carry you to bed and I sometimes do if I'm feeling like being nice.

And without fail I climb into bed only for you to insist I get Aurora so she can sleep in our bed and again sometimes I do but sometimes I just want you to myself, lets be honest most nights I want you to myself.

I will fall asleep with you in my arms.

I don't want to wake up to a world without you.
I won't.
I can't.
I refuse.
I need you.