Picture This

Chapter 5

"- James, what in heaven were you thinking?! Drunk driving? This is NOT how your mother and I raised you!" My father yelled.

"- Yes I know. Didn't I already tell you that I was not in the mood for this?" Dad sighed deep and shaked his head. This was the first time ever I had seen him disappointed in my brother. I left him out of our house before going back to him. I had to talk, but I would take this slowly. I sat myself down in front of him that he had to go into confrontation with me. We sat there for like 5 minutes in silence before he broke it.

"- Is your preach coming or what?" He was annoyed.

"- James...

- What? Just say it. 'Oh James why did you do it? I was so worried about my case'." He imitated me with a fake girly voice. I was shocked. " Well guess what Chloe, the world doesn't evolve all around you." This shocked me even more. Tears came up into my eyes again. 

"- Uhm... I was... I was just going to ask you why you were drunk at 11AM. I'll admit I thought about that but you know, my friends talked me out of that... and I realised they were right." My voice cracked. " but it's okay. If you think about it that way, I will no longer bother you."

I stood up from the chair and walked up to my bedroom. I closed the door behind me, and sat myself down on the floor, my back against the door. I let the tears float like rivers, I'm heartbroken. I've always had the image of my brother loving me, even when he was mad he would stay nice. But he didn't this time. And I can't think of something that I did that would make him say things like this. I never had the intention to pull all the attention to me. I thought he wanted to help me, but he clearly didn't. Maybe I should wait till it's over and hope he didn't mean it.

I skipped lunch, so when it was time for dinner, I walked downstairs to see if he had cooled off. I couldn't hear him. I walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner for both of us. I didn't hear any other voice, so I was just assuming Sylvia was staying the night at her parents house. Finishing some spaghetti, I went to the living room for an attempt to get him to the kitchen. He seemed asleep on the couch, so I tried to wake him.

"- James..." I slightly pushed him, hoping that it would wake him. I noticed a few beers and a little orange bottle on the coffee table. Something deep inside of me told me that this wasn't good. I took the bottle to read the prescription. I remembered it standing in the bathroom last night. I also remembered it being filled to the top.

"- No. No... NO." I started panicking really badly right now. I shook him with all the energy I had left in my body, screaming his name, crying out loud. When I finally came more or less to my sentences, I called an ambulance. Hoping it still wasn't too late.

The ride to the hospital was silent. Tears dropped down my cheaks as I watched the paramedics taking care of him, trying to keep him alive. 'What did he take?' one of them asked and I handed him the bottle that I had found only 20 minutes earlier on the coffee table.

The hospital itself was the worst. Arriving there, they took him away and dumped me in a dull waiting room with no clue of what was going on. The tears just kept coming, but no sound could be heard. I felt guilty. Guilty for not seeing this coming, guilty for being to busy with myself and not paying attention to what was going on. I jumped up hearing the sound of a ringing phone, realising it was mine.

"- Hello?

- Hey Chlo, it's Kendall. Can you tell me where James is? We were going out with the five of us, but nobody's answering your door nor picking up his phone.

- I'm at the hospital. He tried to kill himself by taking an overdose." My voice cracked again.

"- We'll be there in a heart beat." He hung up the phone and I was left alone with my thoughts. Realising it was the time when normally Austin and I would skype, I texted him to cancel. "Hey boo, I'll have to call of our skype call for tonight. Something came inbetween <3" I didn't want to make him unnecessarely worried. He's too far away and I don't want to be the attention seeking girlfriend either. Not even two minutes later he called me.

"- Babe, why can't you call? You've never missed one.

- I..."  My plan of not letting him know, was immediately blown. I just bursted out into tears hearing his voice.

"- Chloe, try to calm down. What happened?

- James OD'd, I've been in the hospital for the past two hours and I still know nothing.

- What? Are you okay?

- I don't know. I thought that he was just mad about his arrest, but now I feel guilty for not seeing this coming. I was so busy with myself that I didn't have attention for him."  I cried a little harder.

"- Babe... I'm sorry... I wish I could be with you right now. But please listen to me: this is not your fault. Whatever drove him to this, has nothing to do with you. Nothing. Okay?

- Okay." I saw Kendall and the boys walk in.

"- Austin, I have to go. Big Time Rush is here.

- Call me tomorrow okay?

- I promise. Bye." I ended the call and crashed into Kendall's arms.

"- It will be okay kiddo. It will be just fine."

I was so happy they were all here. Logan, Kendall, Carlos and Dustin were like brothers to me. They closed me in, gave me some sort of comforting group hug. Seperating this hug, they all came past me for a long hug. Looking up from the last shoulder, the biggest shock of the night was coming around the corner.