distraction: you

chapter thirteen

for all the elegance and maturity he seems to outwardly exude at the best of times, eddy's not above being petty yet. caught up in the thunderous cacophony of his frustration as he is, his thoughts are encased in white noise, all narrowed down to the subject of his ire.

the music isn't perfect. the real thing they're playing isn't matching up to the notes he's hearing in his head, and it's driving him insane. he isn't sure whether it is his fault or that of the orchestra themselves or if it is in fact a shared flaw, but it had been so easy to slap all the blame on martin and bicker with him for it. the fact remains: there is an obstacle before him, and he cannot move forward.

it's all because you've gotten so damned distracted by—

the door clatters open, and eddy half-dives further into the shadow of the potted plants clustered around the balcony. he is in no position to be interacting with anyone right now, but lo and behold, brett yang's head pokes through the entryway.

god, eddy really doesn't want to deal with this, not while mindless fury is ricocheting around his skull like a ping-pong ball.

"hey bro," brett ventures after a few seconds spent wordlessly staring at each other, "what was up with that earlier?" he moves forward into the outdoor space, and eddy has to resist the urge to shrink further against the brick wall, melt into the grooves. anything to take him away from this conversation.

"it's nothing, man, just nerves or whatever." he has to get the other man to leave before he says something he'll regret later on. eddy turns away and flaps his hand in the direction of the door. "just leave me alone for now, please."

silence. definitely no audible sign of brett leaving any time soon. goddamn it. "nerves? that was definitely not because of nerves; you're way too confident for something like that." the scrape of a chair against the floor, the rustle of fabric as brett sits himself down on it. "what happened? you heard something wrong, didn't you?"

"yeah, i did," eddy replies, and his tongue has definitely taken a mind of its own here. he turns towards the other man, splaying his hands out to punctuate his point. "it's all the mistakes the orchestra is doing, and i won't stand for it. i'm not playing with all those errors messing up my flow."

"sorry, what?" brett's voice takes on a sharp edge; his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "eddy, you're the only one thinking that. it was all pretty good, what we've rehearsed so far. the conductor wasn't even stopping us; you were. i don't understand what you mean with the imperfection you're accusing us of."

"well, forgive me for being too meticulous about my craft." eddy taps his temple, his voice rising in volume like a tumultuous hurricane. "it's all here, the perfect rendition is in my head, and we're just not getting it!"

"no one can hear whatever's going on in your head, eddy!" brett's risen from his seat now, a red flush over his cheeks. "you don't have the right to start yelling at people just because they aren't getting it right yet. you could just show us—"

"that'll take way too long; you guys should already know this—"

"if you would just have the patience to—"

"i would've thought you all would be up to par—"

"you can't just expect people to be whatever you want them to be!"

the storm in eddy's chest shows no signs of calming down. no one's ever tried to confront him about his attitude, and that makes him—it makes him—

brett flings his arms in the air, all jerky movements and barely-concealed irritation. "why are you being so damn stubborn about it?"

"because i just want it to be perfect, and none of you are as close to it as i am!"

in the wake of that last violent outburst, brett stops short, his mouth falling open. for a brief moment, their eyes meet across the short distance, and all eddy can hear is the thunderous war-drum-beat of his heart pounding loud in his ears.

no distractions, eddy. didn't i tell you they'll be nothing but weaknesses?

"fine. i'll leave you alone, mister i'm-better-than-everyone-else." brett storms back into the building, slamming the door behind him none too gently, and leaves eddy with the echoes of his words still ringing in his ears. crouching against the wall, he puts his head in his hands and sighs.

that had gone well.