distraction: you

chapter twenty five

when he'd first left this place, eddy had thought he would never have to come back, not ever. even if the world were to fall around him, he'd promised himself he'd never go back.

and yet: here he is now.

eddy stands at the gates of his ancestral home, dressed to the nines and positively shaking in his polished shoes. he's not exactly here to impress anyone—least of all his mother—but old habits die hard. he'd been trained to wear a suit or any variations thereof for almost every occasion, so it makes sense to wear one to this particular event. it's been years since the prodigal son that he is has returned to the nest, anyway.

if he's being honest with himself, eddy's only here on brett's behalf, so there's that. after everything that the other man has done for him since that night of his breakdown and all the days spent together in the orchestra and even reaching back to the very first time they've met, he's—he is—

he needs to stand on his own feet and do this.

and so eddy steels himself, enters through the gates and across the lawn, not one stray blade of grass out of place. even now, the ghost of perfection haunts him, and how ironic is that? he shakes himself out of the dark cloud forming in his thoughts and continues on through the manor until he finds himself at elizabeth chen's study.

his mother looks elegant, poised—almost exactly the way eddy had left her in this house, all those years ago. it's as if he's stepped back into the past with an adult body and yet still with the mind of a scared child in the presence of a parental figure.

he can only hope he doesn't mess this up.

"ah, so i figured you'd come to me, darling," elizabeth says, her dainty, weathered hands placing the teacup back onto the saucer with nary a clatter. the endearment sends a phantom shiver of distress crawling up eddy's spine. "have you come to return to your mama's side?"

it takes him a while to get his mouth to work, but he does get there. "i'm sorry," he says, voice shaking despite his best efforts, and he's sure his mother notices that flickering spark of weakness, "but i don't want to have anything to do with you, mother."

"yes, i figured that too." her sigh is resigned, for the most part. regardless, it does nothing to reassure eddy's stress levels. god, this isn't going as well as he'd hoped when it comes to his sanity. "then why are you here, eddy?"

"i'm here to make sure you're not going to try any funny business with the director nor my colleagues."

her manicured eyebrows climb to her hairline at the statement. "funny business, you say? whatever do you mean?"

the innocent mask on his mother's face is ironclad, but eddy knows her better than that. "i know you're pulling the strings behind everything i do. all those high positions freely given, all those opportunities at my doorstep." he crosses his arms over his chest, lips pulled downwards as he glances at elizabeth. "you've been spoonfeeding me every job i've ever come across. i don't need nor want your help, so please—stop the funny business and leave my professional life alone." it's not the most eloquent of requests, but it'll have to do.

when he had been a child, eddy had likened his mother's gaze to that of a hawk's. he's certainly seeing the resemblance now, with her staring him down from where she sits on an armchair. after a while, whatever she's seen on his face smoothens her own. 

"you've grown into a most splendid young man all on your own, eddy." what? eddy resists the urge to raise his eyebrows. had he heard that right? "it's a shame you haven't kept to the superior ways i've taught you, but nonetheless—you've grown. i'll honor your request, even if i personally feel that it is the wrong choice. i won't bother your precious orchestra nor the director, as you wish."

eddy can't believe it. he almost doesn't want to believe it, with how incredulous he is. still: elizabeth awaits his answer, and so he says, "thank you, mother."

no matter what your mother taught you, you've become better than that.

well, he can't help the smile that graces his mouth at the thought of those words now, can he?

eddy shifts his weight, looks hard at the floor for a moment before he says: "there's one other thing before i leave." elizabeth looks surprised at that; she probably thinks he'd been about to throw himself out of the house the very second he finishes his business here, but—well. 

there's one more thing he needs to tell her, from a son to his mother. out of respect, is all.

"mama," he says, voice soft and low and revealing, "i think i'm in love with a man." 

and so there.

he lets the words hang in the stale air between them, not offering anything else for elizabeth to hear as he examines the way her eyelashes flutter, the way she doesn't manage to hide the way her face flinches at the declaration. "i just wanted to let you know," eddy says, nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders before turning away to walk towards the door. but then—

"is it brett yang?" the question stops him in his tracks, but he doesn't turn around to look at her anymore. that in itself speaks volumes as to his unspoken answer.

eddy doesn't let the words come tumbling out. when he first speaks that truth and make it concrete and audible and real—it's not for her ears to hear.

"i see." a pause. "i wish you well, my son. you'll do great things, here onwards."

eddy breathes out a sigh of relief. finally, finally, he's said his piece. "thank you, mama."

the reward's more than he could've ever hoped for.