Selah: Pause and Ponder

The Empty Man

Perhaps you can relate to me. That just like me, your life become a cycle. You will wake up early in the morning, go to work, attend school, cook breakfast, take a bath and in evening you will come home tired and spent. And the next morning, you will do exactly the same things.

For what? For your dreams, for your goals, for your family, for yourself.

So you put all of your efforts to do things. You did everything to be excellent in whatever you will do because you know in yourself all of it will be worth.

"Yes, it will be worth it." And you make that as your motivation. That sometimes, in the dark days of your life you lie wide awake, spent and exhausted, you silently reminding yourself, "It is worth it, just hang on."

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

Every night before you come to sleep, you continuously reminding yourself on that. But, one day you came to the point that even in the act of reminding yourself become so tiring, exhausting, and too much.

You are good in encouraging others; in making them happy. You are a light to others but a darkness in your own life. You want to speak but no one hears and just like that you stopped reminding yourself of your purpose. You forgot how you started, you forgot the reason you do things, you forgot to love what you are doing.

Slowly, that fire inside of you become smaller and smaller until one day you just woke up and the fire in your heart is gone. You can't cry. You can't be sad. You can't stop. Because you haven't achieved your dreams yet.

You are born complete and whole, but life is slowly taking every part of you until you become nothing.

Everything become the same, same work, same environment, same music, same book, same page, same people, same clothes, same food, same lifeless you.

Now, you start asking yourself? Is it really worth it?

"Does achieving every dream that I have can make me happy?"

"Does being successful is the finish line?"

Yes. It is worth it.

I graduated in college as Cum Laude and achieve more than what I've dreamt. Is it worth it? Yes, it is. But I didn't do it alone. What I understand in life is that as you give and give, nothing will be left in you. Because you will come to the point that even loving yourself become so hard.

He taught me that.

He taught me that being successful in this life is not the finish line. It is to know Him, to be with Him in each day of my life.

He reminded me that I am more than what I've been through. I am more than my sins. I am more than my successes. I am more than that and He saw that in me. He saw me at my worst and still loves me.

And in those time that I cannot even love myself, He loves me. He accepted me of who I am and still choose me.

So if you ask me, does achieving my dreams are worth it? Yes, because I know He will use every success for His glory.

Nothing is worthy than sharing Him to others.

I wiped the tears that continuously flowing from my eyes as He keeps on hugging me. Erasing every mistakes that I have done and filling every gaps with His love.

He completes me.

"Selah" He whisper.

I shivered. I suddenly become aware of His presence.

"Selah" He called once again.

Selah? My name is not Selah.

"Selah? I am not Selah." I asked in confusion.

He smiled, "You are Selah. You are the light that this world needs."

I whimpered, "Yes, I am."

He then caress my face while I'm in His feet leaning on Him. "I am Selah. 'Till kingdom come, Lord."

"You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." Matthew 5:14-16

Note: Photo and art are not mine. Credit to the rightful owner.