An invitation for you to pause and listen to God.
"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah." Psalm 68:19
Note: Photo and art are not mine. Credits for the rightful owner.
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After I graduated, the reality of life slapped me. Every thing suddenly changed, and still continue to change. I suddenly become aware of everything that is happening in my family, in my community, in my neighbourhood.
And all of a sudden, I didn't know myself.
I stared blankly on the test papers that I am checking. I am actually happy on the job that I have. I love teaching there's no question about that. I love my students. I love being part of their growth and successes. I love...
But why I still feel so sad? A deep and horrifying feeling that even myself cannot explain how painful it is.
Happiness shouldn't be my aim, to be joyful is. Happiness is shallow, joy is not. Joy is rooted in your soul. It is more than the fleeting emotions; it is more than the loud beating of your heart. It is more than having a high grades, getting a promotion, having a high salary, and buying everything that you want. That's happiness but not joy.
Because being joyful is a choice that every one of us need to do.
He taught me that.
He taught me that joy cannot be found on someone or on any material things. That is happiness. Temporary and fleeting. He taught me that only in Him I can find true joy.
He is the eternal joy that I always longed for. He is the joy that can make me complete. He is the joy that can make me smile even when I am in pain. He is the joy that makes me get up every morning. He is the joy that can make me forgive others no matter what they did to me. He is the joy that makes me love other even though they are difficult to love.
He is the joy. And every day of my life, I choose to be joyful.
Everyday I choose Him.
He gave me a choice and it is up to me to decide. He has given me a choice, a decision if I am going to obey Him or not. He is not forcing me, He is not actually after on my obedience. He is after my heart.
He is not after on my actions, He is after on the inside of my heart. What does my heart say every time I obey Him? He knows it will not be easy, that is why He always goes with me in every battles that I am facing.
Through obedience I found joy.
He is my joy.
I sighed. "I still do it even though its not easy."
I inhaled and exhaled when I felt His presence. Suddenly the weariness is gone, the atmosphere become so light. I stopped checking the test papers and inhaled His sweet aroma.
"Selah" and once again I am on my knees.
"Selah" I cried.
"Selah" He knows. He knows. I muttered to my self.
"Selah." I cried hard.
He smiled, "Give it to me."
I took the heaviness in my heart and place it on His feet. "I surrender it to You. I cannot carry all of these anymore. It is too much."
He crouched, "I know, Selah. I know."
He knows.
He knows.
I silently cried as I pour out my heart to Him. I lay there as I bare my soul.
He knows.
"Selah."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
He shushed me. He picked me up and embraced me. I cried.
"How can you still love me?"
I cannot see His face and my eyes are full of tears. "Selah, I know all of your sacrifices. I know how much you've struggled, but still you choose to be the light. You still choose Me. I know all of it. I've seen it, Selah. I am looking at your heart."
"My son, give Me your heart and let your eyes delight in My ways" Proverbs 23:26
Note: Photo and art are not mine. Credit to the rightful owner.
