The Heart Mender

Chapter 29: McDonald's & The Great Witch

Justin's POV:
I'm a nervous wreck.
Tonight is my first Lamaze class.
And as I've been told, a must for first timers like Hails and me.
Some hippie chick is gonna teach my girl how to breathe during labor.
And I guess, teach me to remind her to breathe.
Honestly, I have no freaking clue.
I just know I'm in charge of bringing the yoga mats and water bottles.
I've been warned to be on my best behavior tonight.
Wifey Orders.
As a young kid, I was a bit wild in the classroom.
My poor mother had many after school meetings with my exhausted teachers in grade school.
"Justin can't sit still."
"Justin's class clown antics are disruptive. "
"Justin refuses to focus."
I just remember having fun.
I liked making my friends laugh.
Learning about life cycles and photosynthesis was not fun.
So I always tried to lighten the mood.
My teachers never quite found it funny.
But this is a class I want to ace.
I plan on being the number one student this time around.
No funny business this time.
My girls need me to be at the top of my game.
I plan on being the greatest Lamaze partner this World has ever seen.
I said those exact words to Hailey, and she just took in a deep breath.
"See, your already learning to deep breathe,Twinkles.
I'm motivating you already."

"Ogre, this isn't some Olympic sport.
I just need you by my side, encouraging me and giving me shoulder massages.
I'm the one whose gonna have to do all the work!"

"Hails....
Think of it this way, your the star player.
I'm the coach.
When your in the 4th quarter and your drained and exhausted...and about to give up...
I'll be the one on the sidelines, giving you the water. Reminding you to breathe.
Calling out the plays.
Babe, I'm actually your key to winning the game of labor.
I'm actually thinking this Lamaze class is more for me than you now."

"You have got to be kidding me!
But I know your dead serious.
I can see we're about to enter the Lamaze Olympics, and Justin Bieber wants the gold.
I can't wait for when our kid's join organized sports.
That should be fun.
You're gonna be one of those crazy Dad's that run around with a stop watch during their 5 year olds soccer games."

"Hey! I already have the stop watch.
I packed it into my Lamaze bag, in case the teacher forgets hers."

"Of course you do.
I see this is going to be fun!"

And then once again, my very pregnant wife started her deep breathing.
But I knew she couldn't stay annoyed with me for long. I had the secret to her heart...food.
Everytime I pushed her over the edge, I redeemed myself with food.
Hailey was moody and playing the silent game on the way to class.
So I decided to flip the script on her.
I pulled into the McDonald's drive thru.
I could see her eyes instantly light up.
I rolled down the window to place my order.
"Welcome to McDonald's.
May I take your order?
Wait...Bieber is that you?
Back again I see."

"Hey Phil. Yep it's me.
I'm thinking the usual.
We're grumpy today, so you might want to add two of those apple pie things on."

"Right. I got you man. Hey did they work last time around?"

"Oh heck yeah! You're a life saver Phil.
Thanks for that!"

"No worries man, been there before.
I'm a father of 3."

"Ya don't say..."
Hailey started digging her pointy ass finger into my side.
"Ouch! Twinkles that hurt!"