Struggling through the difficulties in life since trainee, Yoongi suffered from depression. Even when finally debuted, Yoongi did not seems to feel happier until he received this fan letter from Jihye, an aspiring webtoon artist.
From fan to the be...
It has almost been a semester of my University life. This is the first time that I finally moved out of home and live in the school dormitory since February.
Mum wasn't happy with the fact that I chose an Art major. Since young, she has never praised me for my drawings and the awards I received for Arts during Middle School and High School.
She was infuriated that I told her I gave up the college entrance exam for Yonsei University and went to a University that she believed, a second grade. It was fortunate that Dad was quietly supporting my decision, helping me out with the tuition fees and dormitory rent.
But every time, when I was talking to her over the phone, she will always bring up the topic of getting me to resit for the college entrance exam for Yonsei next year.
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I entered the bedroom. The room still looks the same. My desk is still filled with figurines and my drawings and my elder sister's (Known as Jiwoo) desk is still stacked with layers of books, post-it notes, and a big calendar with lots of red crosses.
It is Jiwoo's second attempt on the Civil Servant Examination. Mum has been pressuring Jiwoo on the thoughts of becoming a Civil Servant. Jiwoo being the oldest child tries her best to follow Mum's wishes even though that is not what she wants.
I heard the sound of the main door opened. I went out of the room and saw Mum, Dad and Jiwoo returned home. I ran up to her and gave her a tight hug!
🦉Jihye: Unnie! SaengIlChukhahae! (Happy Birthday!) Here's your birthday gift!
🦉Jihye: Thanks, my baby sister! I miss you so much! What did you get me? Oh, an album? 2 Cool 4 Skool.
🦉Jihye: Yeah! Recently I've been following this new boy group, they have really good songs! Most importantly, they are the ones producing the songs!
Dad: Alright girls. Music can wait. What about your Mum and Dad?
🦉Jihye: Of course Dad! I missed you too!
After giving Dad a big Hug, I walk towards mum with my arms wide open. Mum looks at me with a poker face at first, then finally walk to me and gave me a warm hug.
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We had a sumptuous meal all made by Mum. It's full of Jiwoo's favorite dishes. We had a great time talking about our memories until Mum brought up the same old topic again.
Mum: Jihye, it is not too late for you to change your major. What future would you have with an art major?
🦉Jihye: Mum, stop it. I'm an adult already. I can make my own decision. I want to work on something I enjoy.
The argument sparked, the debate got heated up so badly that my elder sister has to pull me back to the room.
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Jiwoo: Mum is just worried about you.
🦉Jihye: No sis. Mum is just worried about her expectations. Does she really love us as her children when she prioritizes her own expectations over our happiness? I'm happy with what I'm doing now. In fact, I wanted to share that I am going to meet a webtoon publisher who is interested to get my work published. But she just ruined the mood.
Jiwoo: Really? That's a piece of great news. I'm so happy for you. You are doing what you love. I'm sure you will shine eventually. For me, I'm so ashamed as your elder sister. I couldn't even give you any advice. I don't even have a passion for anything.
🦉Jihye: No Unnie. You are the sweetest person in life. You just being controlled by Mum all this time. I'm sure you have something you enjoy. Didn't you love flower arrangements? You are really good at that!
Jiwoo: Forget it. How can I depend on that passion to feed me and the family? I will try my best for the exam this time. Forget about all this. Didn't you get me an album? Let's listen to it.
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Translated Lyrics for No More Dream
[Chorus: Jungkook, Jimin] It's a lie you're such a liar See me, see me ya, you're hypocrite Why are you telling me to go another way? Do well yourself! Don't push others! (La la la la la)
[Verse 3: Suga] Boring same day, every day repeats Adults and parents tell us the same dream Future job number one, public officials?
[Verse 4: J-Hope] Throw a fast ball on the after school studying Disobey the hell like society pardon the dream Ask yourself 'bout the profile of your dream Become the subject of your own life, away from suppression
That's the gift for my sister's 24th birthday.
[Yoongi's POV]
Yoongi alone in the studio, typing a text message to his brother.
[Hyung, it's me Yoongi. Tomorrow, I'm finally going to debut after spending two years as a trainee. Although it is not my wish to debut as an idol, I will prove myself to be the best rapper that makes those who shuts on me to crawl back to me for attention.
Thank you for believing in me from the start.]
The studio door suddenly yanked open. Yoongi put his phone down quickly. It was Namjoon and SeokJin outside.
🐨Namjoon: Ah SUGA Hyung, you're here. Sorry, I thought no one was inside since the room was quiet from outside.
🐱Yoongi: You want to use the studio?
🐨Namjoon: uhh, Jin Hyung and I were thinking of doing a vlog. Sorry about it.
Yoongi stoops for a moment. He then stood off the couch and left the room. He made his way to the building's rooftop.
The evening skyline of Seoul is glistering. Yoongi put his hand into his sweater pocket and pull out a cigarette that looks worn out and start flickering with it like a pen with one hand, the other hand holding the phone. He looks at the message he typed earlier, and finally pulled the courage to click the 'send' button.
He stared at the conversation for a minute, the sent message remained two grey ticks. At last, he turns off the phone and slips it back to his back pocket.
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