The scars on my neck...

Chapter VIII

I unlocked the door and saw Ryder sitting on the floor, bottles of rum in front of him.

"Nate! Why did you leave...?" he stood up and dashed toward me. I had just barely closed the door when he pulled me in for a hug. He kissed my neck several times.

"Nate... no leaving... ever... again. Please. I... thought I really lost you."

"Ryder I'm sorry... I... Gabby..."

He silenced me with a kiss.

"I'm glad your back but you hurt me by leaving..." he clenched his fist and started to swing it up at my temple. I closed my eyes and braced for a punch that never came. Instead, I heard a thud as he fell to the floor in front of my feet.

He was crying, I'd never seen him shed more than a tear or two.

"I'm so sorry Nate... oh my god, what have I done? I don't deserve you. im such a bad person,im so sorry... I know you'll never forgive me. But can you please... take me back? I don't know who I am anymore... I can't make anything right..." he said. The alcohol for once was working with him, he finally said how he truly felt.

"Hey..." I crouched down beside him.

"This isn't your fault," I said in a soft sweet voice. "I don't blame you, especially not now... I know Gabby made me doubt that but truth is Ryder from the day we met I fell hard for you. These past 4 months have been some of the best of my life. I know you're going through some bad things, but you need some better way to cope. I'm not going to leave you over this. Because... all I've ever wanted was to make you happy. I don't care how I do it, but it's what matters most" I hugged him. He was still crying.

"I don't understand why you'd give me a second chance..."

"You don't have to, just know my love for you is strong enough," I said, tears in my own eyes.

"I love you too. I... I hate what's happened... I hate what I've done. It's painful..."

"I know... if you want us to take a break, ill understand."

"Please no..." He said, clinging onto me.

"Okay good. I didn't want to go anyway." I said as he pulled me into a hug and cried on my shoulder.

"I love you. I'm so sorry things have got to the way they are... I love you, Nate."

"I love you too. And it's okay, I started it all."

"Don't say that. It's not true." He said, holding me tighter on the tile floor as if afraid I'd slip away.

"Im sorry I'm not the perfect boyfriend," I said to him.

"You kinda are..." he whispered in my ear.

"May I kiss you?" He asked, seemingly scared of himself.

"Of course. You never have to ask." I responded.

He kissed me, and I felt his warm tears on my cheeks. Although his mouth tasted like rum, it was a flavour I'd savour forever.

"Th-thank you. Y-you're everything to me. Let's... try to fix this." He said, slowly starting to stand up.

"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted" I said, standing with him.

"You go on ahead... I'm gonna drink a little more."

"Ryder please... be careful," I said.

"It's okay, I've only had 6 shots." He gave me a slight smile and a kiss on the forehead. I'll be there soon."

I went to our room and felt comforted immediately. I laid down on the familiar bed, I undressed and put on one of his shirts. They were always a little big on me.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly.