12 REASONS WHY | LOONA

𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮 𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙚

Sliding her phone in the back pocket of her black jeans, Jungeun nodded at Haseul who probably told her to stay safe as she hopped off the bus.

The times Jungeun used a bus where numbered. She believed she didn't fit in there. Tight places were not really her thing nor having to push through the elderly and annoying teenagers. She'd rather stay stuck in traffic with some music playing in her car, heat adjusted to just the right temperature. But today, and any other day like this, Jungeun didn't care how she was going to get to her destination.

June was just around the corner and everyone could feel it in the weather. Every side of town was a tad bit hot as it would rarely rain. The sun seemed to be never taking a break, casting it's bright light beams over the whole country. Clouds were always on the sky, though never those angry ones, those who signalled a rain storm coming. It was a great time to be outside, especially today. And Jungeun, even if she didn't go out for such an exciting reason, was happy she managed to find some free time in between big amounts of projects and assignments.

Walking in the cemetery, the janitor waved. He knew her by name and to him, it seemed like she was there every day. Which wasn't very common between griefers nor very healthy. Something like that could drive anyone crazy, he knew, he had seen. But he didn't say anything. It was her decision and it was his job to rush to her attendance if she needed something. Not because of his job as the janitor, but because of how close they had grew.

There were many times he would pass by her and would face an utterly broken woman, talking about old memories with shaky voice and skinny fingers grazing the picture of her best friend. There were many times she would fall asleep there and he would nudge her shoulder, pat her back and escort her home. He always wanted to have an eye on Jungeun, just in case anything ever happened.

"Good morning," Jungeun kneeled by the grave, a sigh that indicated she had gotten less than two hours of sleep, slipped past her lips "I couldn't pick up flowers today."

The woman bought flowers for Jiwoo every week. The colours and types changed, sometimes Jungeun would bring some overly expensive and rare ones. If it looked good it didn't matter how much it costed. Jungeun wanted Jiwoo to be happy, at least now.

"So, I have this issue with Jinsoul unnie," she spoke as if Jiwoo was right there, eyes bright and a smile tugging on her lips as Jungeun talked "It's going good between us, yet she suddenly acts distant."

Jungeun had only realized how much she missed being Jiwoo's bestfriend after she left. They had grown up together, their families were friends, but everything changed as they grew up. The girls became distant, Jungeun made many more friends outside of their group and Jiwoo, well, she kept quiet. She acted different. And Jungeun was very busy to notice, or maybe, she didn't want to. She didn't care to.

"Like, the other day, Vivi unnie called late at night and talked with her on the phone for God knows how long," she explained "After that call she has been acting strange. She is flinching at everything I do, doesn't want to cuddle anyone, heck! She won't even eat her favorite soup."

Jinsoul was never close with Vivi, yet it looked like they had been talking a lot more lately. It wasn't that Jungeun was jealous, no. She knew the oldest out of the three had a massive crush on Haseul for many years, but something in their behaviour was off. Jungeun couldn't quite put a finger on it. It looked like they were pulling themselves out of their friendship. The friendship between all eleven of them. And it wasn't only them. Four girls had already acted that way — including Vivi.

"I wish she could just tell me what's on her mind, you know?" Jungeun sighed "We're together and I really want to help her—"

Her phone went off, a series of notification sounds followed by the vibration of her device had the woman groaning. This wasn't a time to be on her phone and she facepalmed realizing she had forgotten to put her phone on silent.  Out of reflex, she pulled it out. With a tap of her finger, the phone was unlocked and already on the files app.

"please.accept wants to send you an audio file."

Sketchy. Yet Jungeun still pressed accept.

"This is hard," a voice she had never thought she would hear ever again played from her phone's speaker "I don't want to do this to you."

Maybe Jungeun was stupid, maybe her brain was too tiny to keep all this information in, the emotions. She couldn't really tell if she was sleeping or not, she couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. The switch inside her brain turned off. Jungeun blacked out.

"I will sent everyone a file similar to this," Jiwoo continued "To explain why I did this. Though you know me, Jungeunie, you do. You already know what I have to tell you."

She probably knew. In her state, however, no part of her body worked correctly. Jungeun could do nothing other than listen, to both Jiwoo's words and her heart beating loudly. That poor organ. It had never worked so much. So quickly.

"I thought we were in this together, life," her voice was calm, yet her anger and sadness evident "We promised."

They had. They even made a contract about being each other's friend when they were five. Of course, they wrote it again in second grade, when they could actually spell. Jungeun and Jiwoo had both signed it and kept — the latter, at least — a copy of it, framed in their room.

"But I guess promises are meant to be broken," Jungeun could only look at the picture of Jiwoo, imagining her behind her microphone, the one she used to record covers of her favorite songs. Her red hair messy, dark bags under her red and puffy face, chapped bottom lip tugged between unwashed teeth. Jungeun could see it in front of her for the first time and it would've been an understatement to say she hated herself "Kim Jungeun, welcome to the path of the truth."

-kimwig