Only In My Dreams

Chapter 2

A/N:  I plan on keeping this to 10 chapters or less.  Well, unless my mind goes off on a tangent.  lol..  :)

Godt POV

Exhausted, I drag my body into my apartment, and I fling myself onto the couch. It has been almost a week now and I can't hardly sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I can only sleep for about 30 minutes or so before I bolt upright in my bed. I have decided that if Bas wasn't real then I don't want to continuously see him in my dreams. So, now when I go to sleep, and I realize that I'm in that dark room again, and before I have a chance to look around and find Bas, I instantly bolt awake.

My body has finally had enough. I went to the doctor today and he prescribed some sleeping pills. I really don't want to take them, but I have been making too many mistakes at work and I can't keep going like this. Something has to change.

The doctor said that the sleeping pills will put me in a deep sleep where I shouldn't have any nightmares. Well, I didn't tell him that I was dreaming of a beautiful guy. I just told him that I was having dreams that are keeping me awake. The doctor just assumed that they are nightmares. Well, initially they weren't nightmares, but I think that they may have turned into them, but only for me. I just couldn't continue to watch Bas flirt with so many people and enjoy it so much. I wanted to be the only thing that he wanted to look at and flirt with, maybe even kiss. Oh, who am I kidding? I definitely wanted to kiss him and even caress his body. However, that will never happen in real life. Ugh....

Tomorrow is Saturday. I'm supposed to go to my parent's house for a little family get together, and I don't dare show up with these bags under my eyes.

I bring my hand up in front of my face and I look at the bottle of pills. Well, I guess I should take some now and maybe I'll be able to catch up on my sleep. I force myself up and off the couch. I drag my feet towards the kitchen. I get a glass of water and I pop a couple pills into my mouth. 

I sigh. Let's hope this helps.

I manage to drag myself down to the bathroom and quickly do my nightly routine before I head back to my bedroom. I can tell that the medicine is starting to work. My eyes are getting so heavy. I strip my clothes as I walk across the room. I completely ignore putting on pajamas tonight. I'm just too tired.

I drag my heavy feet and body onto the bed, and as soon as I snuggle under the covers, I fall asleep.

BUZZ... BUZZ.... BUZZ....

I slowly open my eyes and for once I feel well rested and fully energized. I guess I should have gone to the doctor sooner. I'm also surprised when I realize that I didn't dream about Bas. This is the first time in months that I didn't dream about him. I can't say that I'm completely happy. Deep down inside, there is still a part of me that is yearning to see him every night, just like before.

I sigh and I look up at the ceiling. Why can't he be real? Why am I even debating this? I think I'm starting to go crazy.

I kick the sheets off of me and I get up out of bed. I have a full day with the family today and I can't be late. My mom will definitely scold me.

***

I sit down on the couch and I lightly rub my stomach trying to ease the pressure from my swollen belly. This time I really pushed myself to the limit. I definitely ate too much.

After the meal, my aunts, uncles and cousins go into the backyard to talk and relax. However, I decide to stay in the living room alone. I know that I should go talk with them, but I just don't feel like it. I would rather be alone and deal with my grief by myself. Yes, I said grief. I still feel like I have lost my one true love. In a way, he is, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is just in my dreams. He isn't real.