Knocking Around Inside My Head: Weekend Write-In

Lux Et Veritas (#allowed)

"Look, the bottom line is that we aren't attracting as many as of the top applicants as we used to," said Russ. He leaned back in the overstuffed leather chair and picked up his whiskey highball. A haze of cigar smoke sifted through the dark wood-paneled room. Bryce chewed on his Cohiba. How that bastard always had a steady supply of Cubans, Russ didn't know. Henry looked annoyed as he refilled his tumbler. John sat stiffly with a grim look on his face.

Henry loosened his tie a bit more as he swirled the ice in his drink. He sighed and stared at the carpet as he spoke in a low, angry voice. "As Assistant to the President, I remind you of our University's dedication to continuing to produce 1000 male leaders a year. Do you propose we cut that commitment back to 500?"

The group responded with a mumble of no, no and of course not.

Henry looked around the room incredulously. "So if we just add the women, where will we put them? Or who is going to pony up the money to expand?"

"Times are changing," said Russ. "The students want this. Princeton has committed. And Harvard has allowed..."

"I don't want to hear about the progressive policies of the school from the North," said Henry sharply. "They don't like this either!"

Bryce tilted his chair back and chortled. "The students want pussy in the dorm, and they want it in class, and in the dining hall." He threw back his drink and refreshed his glass. "What do you expect from a bunch of 18 to 22-year old men?" He smiled deviously. "Of course, I would be willing to extend my evening office hours to accommodate the nubile young co-eds."

"Are we changing the admission criteria to accommodate these girls?" asked John. He fiddled nervously with his bowtie and fidgeted in his chair. He had trouble relaxing with the boys, not being a drinker or a smoker, and he was frequently the butt of jokes.

"Of course not, John, there are intelligent women out there," said Russ frowning. "The SAT scores of the top Vasser and Smith applicants rival ours."

The group sat in silence for a minute.

"Are we not giving them a score on legs and bust size then?" asked Bryce breaking the tension. He received a chuckle from everyone except John.

Russ smiled broadly and relaxed. "The beauty of an applicant is not important except in contributing to the "attractiveness" of the applicant as a whole," he said. The others laughed and even John smirked.

Bryce set his cigar in an ashtray and smoothed back his hair. "Look, you know I enjoy the company of good looking women as much as any man–maybe more," he grinned devilishly for a moment before becoming somber again, "–but in all seriousness, until society makes its role assignments equal, I can't help feeling a deeper satisfaction and sense of accomplishment teaching all-male classes. As a professor, I feel a greater sense of accomplishment when I direct my efforts toward those who will one day have a greater role in society—men." *

"And I'm going to put my foot down, in terms of financial aid," said John. He shook a bit with his determination. "We have a basic commitment to men! Women and men will not be equal with respect to financial aid." He slammed his fist against the table to drive his point home and succeeded in knocking a cocktail napkin to the ground. "Men lead this nation. It is not like these women are going to run for President someday!"

"Or be elected President," said Bryce with a snort. "I agree, if Daddy wants to send Precious to his alma matter he can do it on his dime." He set down his glass and rose to leave. "Expensive bride if you ask me." He paused again at the doorway and leaned back. "And Russ..."

"Yes."

"...just make sure to hire a gynecologist at University Health–one that's open to prescribing birth control to unmarried co-eds!"

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Author's Note

*Italics a professor anonymously quoted in the Yale Daily News, 11-8-68.

Characters and content from:

https://celebratewomen.yale.edu/history/timeline-women-yale