The Tourette Diaries

Side Effects

Thankfully, I didn't get the really bad side effects.

But I did get some.

* * * * *

I yawn for the fifth time this hour, closing my eyes briefly. God, how good that feels. All I want to do is lie down and sleep for the next twenty hours. Actually, no. I don't need to lie down. I can just continue to sit on this chair and sleep.

"Are we playing the game or what?" Hel asks, taking another sip of coffee. " It was your idea, remember". What she means by that is that I basically forced her to play this game with me. She hates board games.

I drink a bit of coffee as well. I made it in hopes that it would keep me awake, with no success.

"Sorry, It's just that I am so tired."

"What, at-" she looks at the clock "-eleven fifty?"

"I don't care how late or how early it is, I just know that I am extremely tired."

"So we don't have to play anymore?" she asks, joy appearing in her eyes.

"I hate you."

She chuckles and flips her messy hair over her shoulder.

"No you don't."

And she is right, as always.

I hiccup.

Hel almost topples over in her chair with laughter, and, to be fair, I cannot blame her. Whenever I hiccup I sound like a strangled pig mixed with a dying cat.

"He-" I start, but I am interrupted by another hiccup.

It's the fourth time I am hiccuping today. Also a side effect. The past few days I've been wondering why I'm hiccuping so much, and then it clicked. I looked at the side effects and there it was. Hiccuping. Right next to 'Loss of conciousness'

I grab a big glass of water and drink it so fast that my throat hurts. When I finish, I take a deep breath, hoping with all my might that it's gone.

"Did the pig inside you die?" Hel asks, getting up from her chair to grab a bag of nachos from a cabinet. I glare at her getting my answer across. 

Nachos. Basically the only snack I can eat.

I started this gluten-free dairy-free diet about a month ago because it is proven that it can be connected with Tourette. Gluten-free? Goodbye bread, muffins, cakes, biscuits...basically everything with flour. Well, except the cookies from the extremely small gluten-free section In the store which cost fifth the normal price and have a crap ton of sugar. Dairy-free? Goodbye milk (not too sad about that) and cheese (very sad about that). I used to eat cheese every single day. A sign that it may actually be bad for me. Apparently, that's how food works. If I feel like I can't, simply can't give up something and crave it every day, it probably doesn't do any good. The same way the body and mind become addicted to drinking or smoking.

Does this diet work? Has it helped?

I don't know. I don't think so.

I let out a high pitched sound.

I do have fewer tics, but it could be from the medication. But either way, I am sticking to it. It forces me to not eat as much junk food, and I already look and feel better.

 On choir and school trips? I am the girl who gets the different food. It's two options: either everyone is jealous of me for getting tastier food or I am jealous of them for getting something other than potatoes in every single form. To be honest, I am jealous of them every single day for not having Tourette, but that is a different story.

I hear a sound coming from my pocket and look to see the alarm the goes off every day at 12 pm.

I grab my pillbox and take one out, bringing it to my lips.

"Why do you still take that?" Hel asks. "It can literally kill you."

I swallow the pill with a little bit of water and sit back down.

"It helps," I reply simply.

"But what does it matter if you have tics? I don't care, it doesn't bother me."

"Other people care."

As much as I want to be that girl who doesn't care what other people say about her, I'm not. I do care. Too much. And I can't change that.