Coffee Talk

Change

"We need to talk."

In our almost fifty years of married life, I cannot remember a time when that phrase was good news. I wanted to just duck my head and pretend I had not heard. Instead, I looked up at my wife.

We were at the little table just off the kitchen with our coffees, newspaper, cereal, and a small mountain of morning pills. We had not been here long; I hadn't even opened the paper yet.

"Ok," I said. I mean, what else can you say to something like that? "Uh, can it wait until after I have read the paper?" That might work for you but I have learned it is better to just jump right in. So I followed up with, "What's up?"

"I am bored. I don't want to keep up the pretense. We do the same thing day after day. There is no spontaneity. The spark is gone. I need a change." All of this came out in one long breath.

I gulped. Just how big a change did she mean? I pictured myself getting my own breakfast, washing the bedsheets, or worse, watching Jeopardy without my best friend at my side. So I asked, "What kind of change?" I am a big believer in facing adversity head-on.

She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. Did I imagine a small tear forming in the corner of her eye? She took my right hand in both of hers, took another breath and told me. "I hate corn flakes."

Well, this naturally came as quite a shock to me. We have been eating cornflakes for as long as I can remember (which, I admit is getting shorter and shorter these days). If she didn't like cornflakes, why did she keep buying them? "I thought you liked corn flakes," I said.

"No. YOU liked cornflakes. It's just so...boring. Every day we have cornflakes."

"Well, we can get something else. I have heard that Cranberry Almond Crunch is pretty good." Hmm, no smile or nod.

Then I thought back to what she had just said. "...the same old thing... no spontaneity...needing change..." and I pushed back from the table, grabbed her bowl of cornflakes, (being careful not to slosh it in her lap,) and dumped it into the sink. "Come on," I told her. "Grab your pills, we are going out for breakfast."

As I was picking up my dishes, I saw a slight smile on her face. "What?" I asked.

"Honestly, there are some days when I have to hit you over the head with a two by four." And she patted me on the cheek and picked up her purse.