INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Fifty-Nine

There was a strange sort of tension around Twelve Grimmauld Place at the traditional Black family dinner. A family who looked smaller than ever. The sets of parents, one set with the son the still allowed to stay with them and one with three daughters they still accepted.

Lyra had asked Bellatrix where her husband was, only for her older sister to say he was busy with his brother, Rabastan, who Lyra knew quite well. She quickly realized that her old friend was still out on Death Eater business, but at least he wasn't alone. There was a strange comfort in that.

Narcissa's husband, Hector, hadn't decided to show up to the dinner. His and Narcissa's son, almost two-year-old son Marcus, had come down with a fever and he didn't want his wife to miss out on spending time with her family when she could. Lyra adored Hector. He was a much better brother-in-law than Rodolphus Lestrange, at least. 

Lyra chewed her food silently as her mother and her Uncle Orion discussed what had been happening at the Ministry lately. The teenager glanced at her young cousin, Regulus, though he refused to meet her eye. 

"So, Lyra..." her Aunt Walburga spoke up, smiling sweetly in the direction of the young blonde, who stiffened up at being addressed directly. "How are things with you? We haven't heard news of any suitors for you."

Suddenly, the sound of Regulus aggressively cutting his meat ran through the room, making some glance at him strangely, wondering why he had such a strange reaction to the question. He looked up at them and quickly muttered an apology. 

Lyra knew this was her opportunity to tell them the truth, which she had planned to do for so long. She awkwardly looked at the room, thinking about how many people would be hearing what she said. Too many. 

While she had been lying for days, waiting for the right moment to come, she couldn't keep from lying even more. The right moment just never seemed to come. "No. Not really, I've been more preoccupied with schoolwork."

"Oh. How... respectable," said Walburga, though curling her lip, not pleased at the answer. Lyra wanted to retort that not everybody's main goal in life was finding a husband, like it had been for her. So much so that she had married her second cousin. 

But she kept quiet. She knew she was already going to be in so much trouble once she finally fessed up to all she had done, there was no reason to make things worse. Well, if she would ever find the courage to actually speak of. She was getting scared that it wouldn't happen. 

▹▹▹

Lyra found herself packing for Hogwarts and too much time had already passed. By that time the next day, she would be back at school and she would have lost her opportunity to tell them, which she had promised herself she would do.

Because she couldn't go her whole life without telling them. She was in love, and that's not something you can hide forever. She had tried desperately, but now the school knew. It was time for the rest of the world to know, too.

But there would be no more family dinners, no more time to call them down to tea. She had just finished having tea with her sisters, who were still strolling around the house somewhere, talking to their parents. She should have told them then, ten minutes ago. But she had been too scared, too much of a coward. 

A knock sounded on Lyra's open door, and she abruptly turned around. She frowned as she saw Narcissa standing there, a gentle smile on her face."Did you think I didn't notice that something's been off about you, Lyra? Come on, I'm your sister. You can tell me what's bothering you."

The cowardly part of her wanted to lie and say that everything was alright. She didn't want them to know, but she needed them to. So she only sighed, and thought that if Narcissa found out, it would be better than nobody finding out. "Is it that obvious?"