Other Sides: 12 Webfiction Tales

Walking Home With Strangers by Zoe E. Whitten

Excuse me? Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to ask for a lighter, if you've-great, thanks.

Mmmm, nothing like the taste of a slow suicide, right? Heh, now that's Marlboro country.

I guess you're new to this neighborhood. I'm very good with faces, and I've never seen yours. When did you move in?

Ah, good, probably still haven't unpacked anything but the essentials yet.

So what do you do? Oh, a nurse! That's great! Well...yeah...yes, I would think so, with all that blood and needles. Just-brrrrr. But still, it's a good job, something you can be proud to tell the family about.

I'm...well I'm between careers right now. I've just recently left my old profession behind, and I'm still not sure what to do with myself.

I don't know. I'd be reluctant to tell you, since we've just met. Hahahaha! A gigolo? That's very flattering, but no...I was a thief.

Ah, see? Now you're looking around. You're more alert, like you expect me to do something. Well you can relax. I gave up the habit, and I'm just walking home right now.

No, it wasn't an easy job. Being a good thief means keeping up on the latest security systems, and every job required meticulous planning.

Yeah, I did all right. If I gave you my name, you wouldn't find a record for me, which I think speaks volumes about my credentials.

Heh, no, I never whacked anyone. I rarely worked for the mafia. You pull too many jobs for those guys, and they think they fucking own-

Sorry, I'll watch my mouth. But no, I didn't like dealing with other criminals, except the guys who fenced stuff for me. And I didn't trust those guys as far as I could throw them.

I suppose I retired for a lot of reasons...no, that's a lie. I quit over one vampire, and the rest of the pack have made...oh, that's amusing?

I see. Well, given your logic, you've never seen a thief until meeting me; ergo, thieves don't exist. You want proof I'm a thief? Okay, see that door over there? Now look at me. Is this your wallet?

Oh relax! Here, you can have it back. Heh, is this your driver's license and credit card? See? Now you believe me. Calm down, I gave it back. Yes, your money is all there! Stop counting it in the open like some backwoods rube. You can get mugged that way.

Yeah, I didn't believe in the vamps myself until just a few months ago. Nah, never mind. I see you already think I'm crazy.

You don't really want to hear this. You don't even believe me.

Well...if you're sure.

Four months ago, I moved into Dallas. I moved about once every six months to work new cities. It kept me off the fuzz radar, and I could fence most of my stuff on the internet. No, not eBay. Don't you know that place is only for scammers and collectors? I was a thief, not a scammer. Of course there's a difference.

It doesn't matter how I sold my things. Besides, we aren't talking about the working lives of thieves.

I was getting settled in for a job. The mark was a jewelry store downtown with a vault that a four year old could have broken into. I was in the alley behind the building, and I was just about to unpack my toolkit when-

My toolkit? Uh, well it's like a fanny pack; but instead of a pouch, the pack unrolled to give me access to lock picks, my drill bits, a battery-powered Dremel hand tool, and a stethoscope. I kept other tools in a backpack, but those changed depending on the job. Just then, I was carrying a bigger drill, a handheld acetylene torch, and several rods of thermite. That's a special mixture of rust and aluminum which burns hot enough to eat through carbon steel.