99 days (L.S)

Day 66

May 1st, 1940.

Louis' POV:

For a while now, I've been thinking hard on something. Something I haven't yet decided. Something I've been wanting to wait and reveal after Harry comes back. It's not that I don't like it here. I've grown up here my whole life. France, is practically my home. It is my home. Though, I've been thinking of leaving.

I tried to convince myself that this was a bad idea, and I can't just leave like that without deciding if I'm sure that this is what I really wanted to do. I haven't talked to anyone about it, not even my own parents.

I love it here so much, but I just feel like I need a new start. A new beginning.

I haven't yet decided on where I am going, but my first two opinions are either a new place in France, or moving to London.

It's gong to be hard trying to choose. It's also going to be hard telling Harry. I don't know if I should wait till he comes back and do it in person, or just write another letter confessing it to him.

I haven't heard from him in a while, which worries me. Maybe I should just stop writing him letters, he's probably annoyed with me and that's why.

"Louis?" I heard the familiar small voice, call beside me.

I turned to him, seeing as he was already looking at me. I must have been spaced out.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, sighing. "Just thinking."

"About what?" He asks curiously.

I don't know whether or not I should tell.Eli. He's such a sweet kid, and I'm practically his bestfriend.

"Just stuff I guess." I answer, hoping that is it and he wouldn't push further.

"What stuff? are you thinking about Harry? when's he coming back? I really want to meet." He rambles.

I look back over at him, and his gaze is still on me-waiting patiently for me to answer his questions.

I let out a long sigh, thinking of what to say. "Uhhh, I don't know kiddo. I guess when it's over."

"Are you still writing letters to him?"

I nod, bringing my attention back to the film that was playing on the tele.

A few minutes pass of just silence, just the two of us silently amused into the film. That was until the silence was broken once again.

"Do you and Harry really love each other?"

My head immediately snaps towards him, making him flinch slightly.

"Wha- what?"

"You and Harry, do you love each other?" I stared at him in shock at his question. Why would he ask me that?.

"Of course we love each other, why wouldn't we?"

He shrugs, before replying. "I remember you telling me the story of you two. The way you explained everything, made it sound like you two didn't love each anymore."

My mind goes into a variety of words that I may have forgotten I said to him. I don't remember telling him much about Harry and I, only that he went away to war- and that was when it suddenly came back to him. I did tell him. I must have been so depressed with Harry being gone, that I rambled all my feelings towards, Eli.

I don't know how I possibly forgot about that. I looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." And I felt more relived, and continued my gaze on the film.

"You know, my parents might not love each other anymore, but it doesn't mean you and Harry don't have to." And to say I was really annoyed, was an understandment.

I sighed, keeping my eyes on the tele, hoping he would just finish this whole conversation.

"You've written him almost a hundred letters, Louis. You love him, I know you do. I'm really sorry if what I said the other day made you doubt everything of what love really is.
I know you, Louis. I know when something's bothering you. I know that after what I told you, you began to doubt everything. You may have not said it, but I can tell just by guessing."

How can one kid be so young, but smart at the same time? I can't seem to figure it out.

"I know you don't really like my company. I'm sorry if I come here every day and annoy you. I just can't stay in a place like that where all there is, is just anger. You don't know what it's like waking up to screaming parents, sitting there while they're yelling right in front of you, and sometimes yell at you as well. I hate it so much and just want to get away from it."

At that, I started to feel bad. He's just a kid and I wasn't trying to understand what he was going through. Then again, his parents need to sort themselves out. I began to think that maybe he should finally say something. Have a talk with them and maybe help them.

"You should put your foot down." He looked at me weirdly, like he doesn't understand what I mean.

"What?"

"Tell them that they have to stop. Be the bigger person and tell them that they can't keep doing that, especially in front of you. And if you want, I could help." I suggests.

"No, I can't do that Louis! they'll think I'm being rude. They wouldn't understand." He looked down with a frown, playing with his fingers.

"They would if you talk to them about it." He sighed, but nodded.

"Okay, I guess I'll try. Thanks Louis." He says and leans over to hug me, which catches me off guard, but I hugged back.

"And Louis?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't doubt everything because of them. They aren't you and Harry." I am at loss of what to say, so I just say, "I know" while still in embrace.

.-.

Dear, Harry:

I've been meaning to tell you something. Not sure if it's best to do it right now, but I hope you make it back soon for me to do it.

I talked to Eli today, and we had a heart to heart conversation. Well, that's what I prefer to call it. Anyway, he told me something and I can't believe I was so blind to think any of this. I was doubting things even if I didn't want to admit it. I regret it so much, and I'm sorry. I know you don't really know what I'm sorry about, but I am. I love you, Harry. So much, and I hope after you come back, we can start over. We can put every bad thing behind, no matter how much it would probably haunt us. I want us to restart, and I hope you feel the same way.

Love, Louis.
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