Journal ~ A Namjin Story

(13) Dear Journal, I Have A Plan

"Um... It would be b-best if I n-never saw you again."

"OH. MY. GOSH. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Tears pour down Jin's face as he cries silently, his heart feeling like it had been sawed in half.

Seokjin's voice sounds miles away as he meekly replied a small, "... okay...", then turns around to sprint out of Jungkook's kitchen and house, never looking back, just how Namjoon asked for it to be.

Seokjin jogs home in the rain which camouflage the tears running down his cheeks. On his mouth is a...

Smile?

"I only have one idea left. One last resort." He thinks excitedly, satisfied that now, his decision will definitely be the right one.

Namjoon also sulks back home, feeling the light drizzle on his face and hair. He left Jungkook's party soon after Jin, his life entirely torn apart.

"What did I do? Part of me is glad that I won't be leading him on...

WOULD I be leading him on if I felt the same way?

IF I did felt the same way...

DO I feel the same way?

Ugh these emotionsss... I don't know what to do anymore.

Ok, so out of all these feelings, what DO I know?

Well, I feel awful for what I did to him. He didn't deserve me hurting him. Why did I even say that to him?"

Namjoon pretends to ponder his emotions, but deep down, he knows why.

"It's because I'm a chicken, right? I was too scared to admit that... I might like him back...?

I like him back? 

I like him.

I like Seokjin.

I love Seokjin."

He smiles but is embarrassed at his own thoughts, and buries his head in his hands.

Suddenly, he stops walking, and his head shoots up in revelation when an idea hits him. Without pausing to think of the consequences, he turns around and begins to jog to Jin's house. He wants to make it better. He wants to make it right. For once in his life, he is sure of what he is doing. He is going to get his friend back. He is going to be more than friends with his Seokjinnie.