Regaining Innocence (avengers au)

[5] say what?

A/N: I'm sorry I don't speak a bit of Russian so all the translations are from Google Translate... Tell me if I'm wrong :> Translations are in the comments :)

"Okay, what?" Sam Wilson raised an eyebrow, looking at the caller ID one more time to check if it really was Natasha calling. "I think you've got the months wrong, girl. It's mid-July, meaning that it's not anywhere near April fools day yet." Feeling someone whack him on the head lightly, he turned and saw Bucky leaning on the back of his couch, mouthing at him to find out what was going on. He shushed the soldier, waiting for her to speak again.

"As much as I wished it was, this is no joke. Steve got turned into a toddler thanks to Loki's spell, and we think it would be best if you and James swung by for a day to take him somewhere." On the other end of the phone, Nat swung her feet up onto the wooden table, stretching out on one of Stark's comfiest office chairs. "I'd really appreciate it if you could, Steve loves you guys."

There was a muffled scuffle and a groan of pain, causing her to raise her eyebrows sceptically, waiting patiently for Sam to answer her. What she didn't expect was for James Barnes' smooth voice to sound in the receiver, causing her to snicker as she pictured him and Sam fighting over the phone.

"Of course we would help, моя дорогая. How will you explain the situation to Steve, though? Who will he think we are, and why would he want to hang out with us? To him, we're probably just strangers to him."

"Think of something, I don't care what you say, as long as you make it consistent between the two of you идиоты," Bucky could practically hear the smirk in her sentence, rolling his eyes and shrugging. Sam took the opportunity to snatch the phone back from Bucky.

"Just put me on speaker, damn it!" Nat said, shaking her head slightly as Wanda, who was seated on the floor, floating plush toys for the children to catch, turned and raised her eyebrows in question.

"Tash, you said a bad language word!" Steve protested, causing Nat's internal smirk to widen, even more, flashbacks from the Avengers party moments before Ultron's first appearance flooding back to her. Over the phone, Sam and Bucky had overheard the child's exclamation and were howling with laughter, also remembering the time when practically everyone would exclaim "LANGUAGE!" in unison whenever anyone said something remotely crude, successfully annoying the hell out of Steve.

"Sorry, dearie, it won't happen again," Nat promised, smiling at the child who looked pleased with her promise. Turning back to the phone, she continued. "Alright, идиоты, I know you both can hear me and my surroundings now from your reaction. Before you ask, yes, that was Steve, your currently 5-year-old best friend. No, we do not know when he will be returned to normal, but in the meantime, Clint and I are trying our best to create the perfect memories for them."

"Did you just call us idiots? Twice?" Sam asked, mockingly horrified. "For your information, I understand some words of Russian, too!"

"Only because I call you идиоты too, on a daily basis," Bucky interjected, smirking at the scowling man slumped next to him.

"Alright, I get it. You all still love me though, I mean who wouldn't?" Sam said. "No, don't answer that. Anyway, are you and Clint getting some practice with the mini-Avengers before you start a family of your own? I see the logic in that, that's a great idea. Challenge yourselves with two mini geniuses, one overly patriotic dumbass, and two Asgardian toddlers. After that, nothing you can't handle, hm?"

Natasha rolled her eyes, exasperated. "I told you, there's nothing between us, we have a strict partner relationship with a highly unapproved friendship between partners."

"Whatever you say, мой дорогой," Bucky grinned. "Anyways, we'll save that for next time we meet, so we can tease you and Clint at the same time, in person."