"Aaand, action!" Ellen took a deep breath. Shoving all the emotions and tears to the back of her head, she tried remembering her lines.
She sighed. "Derek."
no, she can't do that. She's not ready to say goodbye. pull yourself together, Ellen.
"Derek." She repeated. This wasn't scripted. But the producers seemed to see the authenticity in what she was doing, they didn't stop her. In front of her, on a fake hospital bed, was the love of her life. It has been the seventh time they tried shooting this, because Patrick couldn't stop crying.
brain dead people don't cry.
"Derek." She said for the last time as she ran her hand over his cheek. It's like Meredith was calling out for him. Asking for a miracle. Praying that their unbreakable bond and their extraordinary love was enough. Meredith was strong. Ellen knew her very well. She would be able to carry on with her life. But her? Ellen might never recover.
"It's okay." Was it? was it okay? Was him leaving, because he was scared of what they have, okay? "You go. We'll be fine." A tear rolled down her face. Deep down, she knew this had nothing to do with Meredith and Derek. This is them. What they have. Their pain. Or at least hers. He didn't seem to mind, that day when he walked into that room, and announced that he was leaving at the end of season 11.
It came a lot sooner than she expected.
The woman playing the nurse said her line. Ellen couldn't quite hear it. But she knew what she had to say. "No, but go ahead."
Ellen tried to keep herself together as much as possible. She tried not to fall to the ground as they took the last shot of this iconic television couple. "This was amazing guys, thank you."
As the camera turned off, Ellen wiped her tears and ran out of the room. "Ellen!" She heard someone scream. It wasn't Patrick. Debbie, maybe? "Get that shit out off of me." Patrick. He wanted the bandages around his head off.
Ellen ran straight to her trailer. Slamming the door shut behind her, she collapsed on the couch and unwillingly started to cry. Her sobs filled the silent room. Eleven years of her life have been spent with the man she loved. Eleven years of laughter, pain, sleepless nights, faith, craziness. Eleven years of being scared, of terror, of love he's throwing away. How can she respect a man like that yet alone love him? But she does. She does love him and it's scaring the hell out of her. "Ellen." Chills ran down her arm.
The door squeaked open. "Please." It was him. His head popped from the door. Ellen stood up, wiping her tears. "Leave me alone, Patrick." She tied her hair in a ponytail and opened her mini fridge, taking out a water bottle.
She saw Stella's princess lunch box and she thought of how selfish she had been. She loved a man over her family. She was ready to let go of Stella's comfort, to be with Patrick.
"Ellen." He repeated. "Get the hell out of here." She finally made eye contact with him. His eyes were filled with tears, his eyebrows arched in pain. Pain that flickered through his ocean eyes. He ran his hand through his hair and he stepped inside. "I'm not leaving like that." He sat down on her couch, where she was crying seconds ago. "This isn't how I want to remember you."
Ellen had her hands rested on the sink, her back facing him. She laughed. "What do you want then, Patrick?" She faced him. "Do you want me to tell you I love you, to kiss you and have sex with you on that sofa, like we always do, for you to then grab your shit, and leave me alone, so you can go to your perfect house with your perfect little family?" She paused. "Like you always do?"
YOU ARE READING
No Other Pain
Fanfiction"Without any additional word, Ellen walked out of the room, her heart cracking in her chest. His sent was all over her. His image the first thing on her mind. "Ellen!" His voice. She walked away faster, but his voice was still as close as it was sec...
