nonbinary kiddos

Dnd

I was away for one (1) session and when I got back my character Susan had allegedly downed a barrel of ale and passed out so my character could stay in the game

She woke up to a fight scene, and bc she's a warlock, she used eldritch blast (fucking of course)

Anyway about me and my gender identity (that sort of IS what this book was meant to be about after all) things have been pretty good.

Obviously most people don't use they/them, which kind of sucks, but I'm okay with it. I don't want to put myself, and I technically id as pronoun indifferent with kind of a preference to they/them pronouns.

In the start she/her made me feel super dysphoric, but I've sort of distanced myself from the female identity enough that it doesn't really hurt when people use she/her. Part of the reason, I think, is that people using he/him for me made me so happy, and I realised I don't need to hate she/her.

Of course it's still a little annoying because it means I don't pass, but other than that *shrugs*

And Quinn has been using they/them a little bit. Obviously not too much because he doesn't want to out me, and I've been doing the same for him.

Although because I use Quinn and he/him for him in my head if I don't make a conscious effort to use she/her it's slipped out a couple times, but I don't think anyone noticed so I didn't out him or anything.

Also we've been training for cross country lately and you're not supposed to run in a binder, but I thought I was safe because I don't even /have/ a proper binder, but my chest ended up hurting so I'm probably not going to wear a binder next time which kind of sucks.

It shouldn't be too bad though. I've been thinking about it, and I still suffer a lot more from social dysphoria than physical dysphoria, and I've been thinking about what nonbinary dysphoria is and what it means to have dysphoria as a nonbinary person.

I'm probably going to end this chapter here, but next chapter I'll probably expand more on nonbinary dysphoria and my epic conclusion about what it means to me.