Back then || KIMHANBIN

18

I kept breathing heavily, I let out a deep breathe, my breathe kept cutting so I tried to clear my mind, I tired to clear thoughts of Hanbin, I calmed down for a second n rubbed my eyes when I saw a taxi infront of me, I saw Yunhyeong, I got up n went to him, "where is boyoung?" I said n he looked at me, he opened his eyes widely, "what happened to u?" He asked n grabbed my face, I sighed n moved his hand, "let's not talk about this-" I breathed again as I felt pressure, I would feel pressure everytime someone asked me what's wrong when I'm crying, "ok fine...did Hanbin hurt u?" He said, my tears rolled down n I immediately rubbed them, "Yunhyeong tell me where is boyoung?" I said, he let out a sigh, "what happened?" I said, "she told me she wants to be alone" he said, "what about me?" I said, "I don't know" he said, I went n sat on the bench, I put my elbows on my thighs n buried my forehead on my hands, I let out a big sigh n felt my heart beating very fast, "hyunah..." He said n came beside me, "what did u tell boyoung" I said n sat straight, "well...I told her I never liked her-" I cut off his words, "why would u make her happy then?" I said, "I didn't make her happy I never used the words I like you or I love u so why would she be happy just becuz I'm going out with her?" He said, "ur such a jerk" I said, "maybe I like u more than her" said Yunhyeong my heart skipped a beat, "wtf?" I said, "excuse me but I don't want my friendship to ruin just becuz u like me, don't ever open ur mouth infront of boyoung" I said, "I said maybe" he said, "ok whatever just shut ur mouth" I said, "I'll shut my mouth when-" he stayed quiet, "when what?" I said, "NEvermind" he said n smiled like a jerk, I gulped when I saw his Adam apples, I rolled my eyes n got up, he held my wrist n pulled me back on the bench, he smashed his lips on mine, I pushed him immediately, "wtf!" I yelled, he got up n put his lip balm, he winked at me n went back to the dorm, my heart started beating, "wtf..." I said, "great" I heard boyoung, I turned around n saw boyoung face, all teared up, "boyoung I swear to god I didn't do nothing listen to me-" she cut me off, "I know u don't like him but he does like u" she said, "he told me about u" said boyoung, "wtf no..." I mumbled, "he told me since college he had a eye on u" she said, "I was hurt by his rough words against me he told me he spent time with me just to see u" she said n teared up, I went n hugged her, "I know boyoung how broken u r right now but believe me I'm broken right now as much as u r" I said, "let's go home" she mumbled n broke the hug, if Hanbin told he likes boyoung instead of me I would honestly be more broken, I guess it's hard for boyoung to express her broken feelings to me becuz she knows that Yunhyeong likes me.

We arrived back home, I went to my room n boyoung to hers, I saw Eva sleeping, I felt sadness, each one of us r feeling empty right now, I went to the Bathroom n changed my clothes, I remembered how Hanbin came to the window n hit it with a rock, I felt burden of tears coming, every single thing reminded me of him, every song, every object, every place I couldn't take him out of my mind n everytime I remembered him I started tearing up n didn't know what to do, I just started trembling n didn't wanna cry but I couldn't fight back my tears, they would just fall.

My tears wouldn't stop coming for days, it wouldn't stop, I miss him, i miss him every night n every day, I miss every time n every second, I love u, after all this my heart still begs for urs, but I won't ever come to u again, if he is attracted he would come by himself but if not then I'll never in my life go to him, I know he isnt attracted to me, I guess he didn't even like me a bit, he always talks about how he hates me, I should be over u already what is wrong with me.

It's been a week, I tried to act alright after his harsh words, boyoung, Eva n yoona were already sad becuz of their side of story, so I guess all of us didn't share our sadness with each other, boyoung did share hers with me but she didn't completely, we 4 were sitting at the cafe blankly staring at wall n table, "so guys-" Eva words were cut off by boyoung phone ringing, she was still staring blankly at the wall, "boyoung ur phone" said yoona, "boyoung" said Eva n snapped the fuck out of her, she flinched n took her phone, she answered it without an expression on her face, "what?" She said as she picked up, "she is right here" said boyoung, she handed me the phone, "who is it?" I said, "song Yunhyeong" she said, I took the phone, "hello?" I said, "y/n I want u to meet in a park nearby ur house at midnight" he said, "wtf u still wan-" he cut me off, "it's about Hanbin n boyoung" he said, my heart skipped a beat, I gulped my dry throat, "now u choose" he said, "fine I'll be there" I said, "great" he said n I hung up, I handed boyoung the phone, "what did he say?" Said Eva, I shook my head.