Words [l.h.]

Part 1 - Chapter 1

Dear Luke,

I never thought I would write a letter to you, not for you to ever read, but for my own satisfaction. You see, I need someone, maybe even something, to listen to me, to listen to these words that will never stop flowing out of me. Writing has always been a great way for me to express myself, but then I met you, and I didn't need pen and paper anymore. Because I had you. Now I still have you, but you don't have me, does that make any sense? Probably not. It's not like we ever cared about whether things made sense or not. I was forced to turn to paper again to capture my feelings. I hope I will soon be able to stop writing, but not now.

When I first met you, I never even thought of you becoming one of the most important people in my entire life. You were a nice friend, a nice addition to my life. But then you suddenly became my life, and I still have no idea how that could have ever happened. I needed you, you needed me. I've got so many beautiful memories of us two and I would like to tell you about them, even though it will only rip my already broken heart out of my chest. I feel like I need to do this. For you. But mostly for myself.

Which memory do I find worthy enough to start with? That is not a very hard question and I am sure you know exactly which memory I am thinking of. I am not going to describe this memory in full detail, because I feel like that would only ruin the beauty of this particular situation. But remember the time you wanted to feel my heartbeat? We were sitting on your bed and you pulled me into your chest. At first I thought it was a strange question, that you were strange. But soon enough I realised that it was actually quite nice that you felt so close to me that you wanted to feel the pace of my heart. And even though my heart was racing because of your touch and I felt nervous, I let you feel it. I remember exactly how it was.

You said to me, "I want to feel your heart."

And I said, "What do you mean?"

And you responded, "I want to feel your heartbeat, because I want to feel the one thing that is keeping you alive and me happy."

And I swear to God, I almost cried, like I always cry when things are getting too emotional for me. But I let you feel my heart, because I thought you deserved it, and you did. And I also think that for me, maybe even for you too, that was the moment I knew you were one of a kind and that you were perfect for me. That was the moment I, for the first time in my life, felt very close to someone. That was the moment I realised that I loved you. And I still love you. And I always will, even if this horrible thing will be seperating us, my love for you will never lose its burning passion.

Yours truly,

Scarlett