Words [l.h.]

Part 1 - Chapter 6

Dear Luke, 

Do you remember the time, a couple of days after our walk in the park, when we were all hanging out at Bree's house? The time we discovered 'Brean' (as Bree would call it)? I want to talk about that for a moment, because Bree and Dean are really happy together now, and I am really happy for them. 

So, we were all sitting huddled together in Bree's small living room and we were actually supposed to watch a movie, which we did not, of course. Incidentally, I ended up sitting next to you and Bree ended up sitting next to Dean, and she did not really seem to mind at all. Alright, maybe it was not all incidentally, like I wanted to sit next to you, but I had not really planned on it. Anyway, I saw Bree sitting awkwardly close to Dean, so I motioned for her to come to the kitchen with me. I asked her what was going on, and she started rambling, like she always does. She told me about the first time he had ever called her pretty and how she felt butterflies going crazy in her stomach. She told me about how they had late night conversations about literally everything every day, and how she could not sleep unless she had talked to him before. And about their first kiss. In her room. After she had been freaking out about this show she was totally obsessed with because 'they were hurting her baby Cas' or something. I don't even know. And he kissed her. And she asked him why. He responded: "Because you look so beautiful talking about something you love."

Of course, Jules had to burst in at that moment and ruin the whole moment. Well, it was not entirely ruined, since she had heard almost all of the conversation. She started scream-whispering these things about it being really cute and adorable and how she wanted a boyfriend and how she did not understand why nobody wanted to be in a relationship with her. Then Bree matter of factly pointed out that Jules hated almost anything that breathed and had a pulse. Except for Ruben, because 'he was so beautiful and nice and God, I wish he would know I existed.'

I also remember me being jealous of Bree, because she almost had the kind of relationship I wanted. Except I wanted it with you. And for some reason I thought that would never happen. I was wrong. I was so completely and totally wrong. Because right after we came back from our little conversation in the kitchen, I saw your eyes light up. You grabbed my hand and pulled me into the seat next to you, leaving your arm around my shoulders and I felt so good and safe and comfortable and loved and I knew that I would never want to feel something like this with anyone but you. At least not in the near future. 

I saw Dean pulling Bree into his lap and I watched all the faces in the room, including yours, turning from confusion, to surprise, to shocked and then to amusement. I felt a little smile creep onto my face and you raised your eyebrows at me, as if asking me if I had known all along. Everybody just ignored it, until Dean started playing absently with Bree's hair. Noah got annoyed and to be honest, it was quite funny.

"Can you guys, like, not do that?" He said, and I heard the sigh of annoyance in his voice.

"Shut up, Noah, you know nothing about love," Jules responded in, of course, her familiar sarcastic voice.

"May I point out that I am the only one in this group who is actually in a serious relationship?"

"No, you may not, you asshole."

Then Eve changed the subject, since she felt the room turning awkwardly quiet. She always knew when to, you know, start talking about something else. She said something about this book she had read a couple of days ago. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. I knew the book, I had just never read it. I asked her about it, whether it was a nice book. And while I was talking, I felt your eyes on my face, my shoulders, my legs, my entire body. I tried to ignore it, afraid my eyes would spill the truth about how I felt about you if I looked into your eyes for just a short moment. We talked and talked about books and more books, and I never really expected you to be interested in books whatsoever. But you seemed to be right in that moment. Or maybe it was because of me, but I guess I will never know. 

I briefly mentioned my favorite book; The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I told Eve, but mostly you, that I thought the book was underrated. Most people had only watched the film and had skipped the book, but I thought the book was just so wonderful and original and I loved every single bit of it. I just thought everything about the book was really good, the characters were well developed and everyone's good and bad traits were really obvious. It was not like there was a perfect character or a terrible person in the book, and that is what I most loved about it. That the characters in the book were like real people. They were not protrayed as perfect or anything like that, they felt like real humans with the good and the bad.

Two days later you called me to tell me you had finished the book. And that you loved every single bit of it.

Yours truly,

Scarlett