Words [l.h.]

Part 1 - Chapter 2

Dear Luke,

It is autumn now, which means the day we met is almost four years ago. Autumn has always been my favorite season. I have always loved watching the leaves fall down and laying on the ground so still, waiting for a blow of wind to take them away. I do not recall telling you about this, and I regret it. I wish I had told you every single detail about me. I guess I did not think it was important enough for you to know this about me, but now I do know. And I regret everything I never told you.

The day we met was a beautiful day in autumn, one of those days I really enjoy. When the leaves are just starting to fall and everything looks like a fucking paradise, as you would call it. My friend Eve introduced me to a couple of her friends and one of them was you. I told you my name was Scar and you were curious from the start. You refused to call me Scar, which really annoyed me, since everyone else called me Scar. You insisted on calling me Scarlett, because you thought full names had some magical touch to them or something. I told you I wanted you to call me Scar and you said you wanted to call me Scarlett, because that was me. I was Scarlett, not Scar. I would never admit it to someone else, but I think I knew from the start that you were special. 

I asked you about music and I honestly do not think I could have asked a better question. I watched your eyes light up as you changed position and excitedly started talking about this band you started with a couple of friends. In those thirty minutes that we were together for the first time, I felt like I got to know you already and that is strange, considering it was only thirty minutes. You talked about your favorite bands, about playing guitar, about singing. And I listened. And I enjoyed listening to your voice and I caught myself thinking about your lips already. One moment, when you started smiling, really smiling, with crinkles by your eyes and your lips almost parting in a huge grin, you were beautiful. I realised you were really beautiful and I kept that moment in my mind forever. Like a photo taped to the wall of my thoughts. 

You asked me what I liked to do. "Reading," I said. I did not tell you what books I liked, or why I liked books over films. I did not tell you anything. Just reading. I thougt you would laugh at me, think I was a nerd for liking books, but you just told me, "Cool" and "I never really understood why people like books so much, I don't think I'm a book person" and "What do you like about books?"

You were eager to get to know more about books and maybe understand. You were eager to learn and to be completely honest with you, I think that is what most attracted me about you. The way you did not judge anything unless you knew enough about it. That is what most people should do, in my opinion. Try to learn more on the topic before forming an opinion about it. You taught me how to do that and how to remain quiet and not say anything until I had all the information I could get. You taught me that having knowledge about something, or someone, is more important than having an opinion. I want to thank you for that, because, honestly, it made me a better person. 

My paper is getting wet because of the tears. God, I love you so much and I cannot think of a world without you. I do not want to think of a world without you. I need you. Please, Luke, please.

Yours truly,

Scarlett