wanderlust | m.m.

seventeen.

i let out a sigh and rolled away from mat. "it was just a dream. don't worry about it." i sat up and put my legs over the side of the bed, a chill running through my body when the bottom of my feet touched the cold floor. goosebumps followed when mat's skin came into contact with mine as he moved so he sat next to me and took my hand in his.

"if it was 'just a dream' you'd tell me about it," he replied, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. "i just want to know what's going on."

"what if i don't know what's going on?" i mumbled. and that was the truth. i didn't know what was going on. the past couples of weeks with watson had been strange and then this morning was... i don't know what it was, but it was definitely something, and i sure as hell didn't know how to feel about it. "life has been crazy recently."

"is that why you randomly showed up at my door after i haven't seen you in so long?" mat asked, sounding almost hesitant. when i nodded, he asked a question that nearly broke my heart. "did i do something to you to cause that to happen?"

"no," i quickly replied. that was the last thing i wanted him to think, but i understand why he would come to that conclusion. "no, you didn't do anything. watson's just been really weird the past couple of weeks so i was busy dealing with him. i needed to get away from him for a bit. that's why i came here."

"is that why you were having a bad dream? because you've been stressed and busy?"

i quickly shook my head, some of my hair falling into my face. hopefully it did a good job of hiding the blush that was coming to my cheeks as i thought back to my dream, about to way it felt to have mat's lips on mine. of course, i didn't actually know how that felt, but obviously i could imagine. "uh, no. not exactly..."

"what does that mean?"

i lowered my head so that more hair fell in my face. "let's just say it wasn't a bad dream," i replied, biting my lip nervously. i didn't know how he was going to react to this, and i didn't know how much he was going to want to know.

"huh? what does that me- what a minute? does that mean what i think it means?"

i lifted my head, meeting his eyes and hoping the red in my cheeks wasn't too prominent. "what do you think it means?" i asked even though the smirk on his face already told me what he was thinking.

"that means that what i thought was you groaning because you were uncomfortable was actually you.... moaning?" mat was right and i was mortified. i covered my face with my hands and fell back on the bed, actually let out a groan this time. i felt like disappearing. my brain really had to do that to me while i was in bed with mat. "well are you gonna tell me details or are you just gonna leave it to my imagination?"

"i'm not telling you anything," i said, my voice muffled due to the fact that my hands were still covering my face. i couldn't look at mat right now or else i would die of embarrassment. what happened to not telling him what my dream was actually about? i told myself i needed to work on getting a thicker skin when it came to mat.

"can you at least tell me who it was about? was it watson? is that what you meant when you said he's been weird? did you guys fuck?"

"ew, no," i replied, pulling my hands down my face enough to reveal my eyes so i could glare at mat. "don't ever say that again. that would never happen."

"never say never..." mat teased, causing me to roll my eyes and rise to my feet. i started to walk towards the bedroom door and was almost there when i heard mat's footsteps behind me and felt his hand gently grab my arm. "if it wasn't watson... was it me?"

the question caused the air to suddenly leave my lungs and my feet felt frozen to their spots on the floor. i should say something - i need to say something. but i couldn't. i could barely swallow, let alone form words. but my lack of an answer was enough of an answer. "holy shit. it was me." i still didn't say anything. rather, i squeezed my eyes shut and wished that i was anywhere else. i only realized that i hadn't been breathing when i let out a small gasp when mat gently placed his hands on my hips. i was suddenly aware of how close he had gotten to me and how hard my heart was beating.

"what did we do?" he asked, his breath stirring my hair and sending goosebumps across my skin. he added a bit more pressure to the grip he had on my hips. "did you like it?"

"yes." wait. why did i just say that? i didn't want to say that. but i did. no matter how quiet it was, that was definitely my voice.

"and you just weren't going to tell me? you were going to keep it as your own little secret?" his voice was low and sexy. he knew what he was doing.

"mhm." there was no way this was real. i had to still be dreaming. a dream inside of a dream. that's a thing, right? it had to be.

mat removed a hand from my hips and used it to brush my hair off of my neck. his fingertips brushing against my skin sent a whole new wave of chills through my body. when he spoke, his breath was hot on my neck. "interesting... if you liked it so much while you were asleep, do you want to see how much you'd like it while you're awake?"

"yes." and with that one word mat's lips came into contact with the sensitive skin on my neck and i let out a shaky breath. this was definitely not a dream.

• • •

hi again! sorry it's been such a long time since the last update. what can i say? i'm inconsistent already, college doesn't make it any easier. but anyway, i hope you all enjoyed the chapter and please leave me with some feedback :)

on a more serious note, with all the coronavirus stuff going on in the world, i hope you all are doing well and staying healthy. wash your heads, stay away from elderly/sickly people, be safe. don't go buy five packages of toilet paper from the store. if you need that much toilet paper in the period of two weeks, there is something else that is wrong with you.

thanks,

maren