Invader Zim Oneshots

Drunk (Zadr)

*warning* 

Has a bit of Zadr slight Tagr enjoy

Zim's P.O.V

It was the Dib-stinks 18th Birthday, well that's how I think these low life hoomans call it,

and the Dib wanted to go out to a something called a pub but why would he want to see a dog?

"Dib-beast, Zim is confused?"

Dib turns around and looks back at me.

"What are you confused about?"

"What is this pub you speak of? Isn't it a dog or something?"

Dib shoots me a strange look.

"A dog wha? No. I think your thinking about a PUG not a PUB. Don't you have Pubs or Bars around space or whatever?"

"No i've never heard of such things"

"Really? Well it's where all the drinks are at, like beer and wine and just alcohol. Its where people are 18 years or older usually hang out."

Zim was still confused. What was this...Alcohol he speaks of? It's not poisonous is it? Zim decided to just go along with the Dib-beast anyway, if I die it's his fault and Zim will become a ghosty thing he always talks about and haunt him I suppose.

A few minutes later we finally arrive there. I follow behind Dib as he leads us to the front counter. The filthy hoomans are everywhere as I look around and IRK they stink. I don't understand why Dib-human wants to go to this place it's pure FILTH, but it's his birthday so irk damn if Zim can do anything. Unfortunately for Zim, I have to follow through with his plans as we are indeed "dating" as humans call it. It feels weird but I'm getting used to it. We sit down and Dib calls over this person asking for two Wis - keys? The person nods and pours two glasses of this strange liquid sliding it over to us. I watched as Dib picks up his glass and takes a sip. He takes a glance at me as if encouraging me to go ahead and copy his actions. I follow suit swallowing the lump in my throat bring the glass up to my lips as I take a small sip.

I looked at it in surprise. It wasn't actually that bad as Zim expected to be. Actually It's really good for an earth drink. Who knew? I took another gulp of my drink. Dib seemed to approve as he smiled and took another sip. It wasn't long before I chugged down the whole thing and asked for another one. It seems my gift for Dib this year will end up being pretty high bills. Oh well I'm sure he won't mind...right?

*Le timeskip-a-roo*

Dibs P.O.V

I watched as zim kept gulping down the drinks maybe I should stop him or slow him down. Can irkens even get drunk?

"Hey zim I think that you should slow down on the drinks you could get sick"

"What zim feels fine irkens do not get sick so easily Dib-beast."

"ok just maybe you should slow down a bit"

I replied watching as zim gulps down his 3rd before zim head slams down on the counter.

"Oh my god zim are you ok"

"I-I'm f-fiinneee *hic* Dib- Dib-smell"

"No your not fine oh my god you're already drunk! Zim you only had 3 drinks!"

"Ugh n-nah I *hic* only had like er *hic* 3- uh 3-gillion that's like *hic* only one giant drink of er a-apple j-juicess I'm fiiii- *hic* innneee! BRING ME ANODER OF DOS DRINKS HOOMAN!!"

"Another one for the lady"

I chuckled at that but Zim didn't seem to notice as he gulped down the whole drink in one go. How drunk is he?

"ok Zim I think that's enough now"

I reach out to grab zim on the shoulder but he moves away.

"I *hic de-decide when *hic* I've had enough!"

"Ok, no, that's it. We're going home."

I say as I pick him up with one arm and with the other I pay the bartender the bill before turning around and walking out.

"NOOO PUT MEH D-DOWN *HIC* Y-YOU INSOLENT HOOMAN!!!"

This is gonna be a hell of a car ride home.

*time skip brought to you by the ham*

I drove us back to my house (since I wasn't the one who's drunk) and noticed a while ago that Zim had fallen asleep so I was now carrying him in both arms bridal style. I carefully and quietly opened the door so I wouldn't wake him because boy was that car ride not fun. I was greeted with silence so I assumed that dad's at work and Gaz is at her girlfriends house (*cough* Tak *Cough*). I quietly walked up to my room and placed Zim gently on my bed. I was planning on sleeping on the couch when I felt a particular three fingered hand grab my wrist. I turn around and see Zim with his eyes barely open.

"Don't g-go stay"

I smiled softly and lie next to Zim as he moves slightly over more giving me space. 'He looks so cute when he sleeps' I thought to myself as I wrapped my arms around him and drifted off to sleep as well.

*Snoooorreeee*

"Guess I ain't getting any sleep tonight."

"I'm not dealing with his hangover in the morning."