Love me 'till I'm me again - (Scott and Mitch Fanfiction)

Chapter 6 - Can't

Hey guys.Thank you so much for all the comments and the votes and everything.I look forward to your opinions all the time and they make my days so much better.I know this is kind of short,and I haven't really decided where I'm taking this story-we'll see how it goes ;D.

I hope it's ok,idk.Please vote and comment,let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Mitch found Scott crying his eyes out in the corner of the balcony,bent over the railing,staring out at the fugitive lights of the cars passing by under.Leaning on the back wall,the brunette stayed silent for a while;he wanted to let Scott get it all out.

The mere sight of someone who he cared about so much,more than he was supposed to,crying with his head in his hands at 2 am,made him sick to his stomach; his head was replaying his conversation with Jo over and over again, -banging his head to the wall until he could feel blood didn't seem like such an awful idea in that moment.

Because he didn't see any way he could ever look Jo in the eye ever again.Because he knew what the right,rational thing to do was right now.Leave,and never set foot in this apartment ever again.Slowly stop replying to Scott's messages and just go home and bury all his feelings under a pile of pretense;deny he ever existed,erase all his messages,uncount the freckles in his eyes,forget the way he pronounces the vowels in his name.

But oh god how could he ever,when simply thinking about Scott pinning him to the kitchen cabinet earlier made every bone in his body liquid.He wasn't even sure when loving Scott for being his best friend folded into simply loving Scott,but it was there,most definitely,and a thing that he kept for himself for so long,hidden in stolen glances and hugs that lasted a few seconds too long was now a thing that felt wrong,a thing to be guilty about.Leaving was becoming more and more the right decision,but he knew he didn't have that kind of discipline.Him and Scott were drawn to each other like a moth to a flame.

Slowly,he took a few steps and took a seat next to Scott.There was nothing but silence,only silence and sharp coldness,and Mitch could feel it creeping up on him,but he refused to leave Scott alone there.He began to think the blonde didn't even know Mitch was next to him.

He looked so rugged,standing there,and Mitch wanted to wrap his arms around him and keep him warm and fix whatever was broken and clear him of all these 'promises' he was so scared of.That was until Scott raised his head and sniffled,looking out at the city lights.

'What am I doing,Mitch' His eyes were bloodshot from the alcohol but empty,an emptiness that scared Mitch.'I've made so many promises and commitments and now they are all pressing me,and I feel like I'm sinking under them.I had so many dreams-you and me,we were going to take over the world,you know?This job,this life,this isn't me.This is what my father wants,and I feel like I sold my soul.I should've just given it to you,to keep it for me.'

Those last words sent sparks of electricity shooting through the brunette.

'So,' Mitch's eyes lit up with excitement,as he took Scott's hands in his and looked him in the eye,his voice trembling but his tone fueled with passion.'So take it back.Leave all this bullshit,you can come live with me until we figure things out.You can't do this to yourself anymore'

'Mitch,I can't leave-' Scott said through his teeth,his eyes narrowed.

'No,listen to me.Scott,do you remember that summer when we were both ten and we rode our bicycles up a hill?We were so excited about it and when we got to the top we both looked at each other and held hands for a second.And then we started riding but halfway down the hill I realized I had no brakes. I was terrified,but I kept going because you were there next to me.When was the last time you felt like that,like you were going down a steep hill with no brakes?It breaks my heart knowing you deny yourself the remote possibility of feeling like that.Because that's how I feel every time I'm with you.'

He was left with nothing but silence from  his parted lips.The only thing he could try to control now was his voice,because looking into Scott's eyes and having him look at him so shocked but with such fondness  made him feel sick to his stomach but also incredibly warm.

There was nothing but eyes and words exchanged in silence,and Mitch felt his whole vibrate under the weight of how intensely Scott was looking at him.His features softened and for a second,the pain was gone.The blonde came closer,but his time Mitch didn't flinch away,his eyes flickering from his lips and back to those blue eyes,over and over,until there were only inches between them.

And then suddenly there was no space anymore,and Scott's lips were on his.His stiff arms loosened and wrapped around Scott's neck,who pulled him by the waist and into him.Their mouths came together and drifted apart in teasing motions,and Mitch felt dizzy,his skin burning under the touch of the blonde's hands on his waist,motioning little circles with his cold fingers.

Mitch's hands traveled from his neck and up into his hair,tangled.It blew his mind-this was truly everything and definitely better than anything he could've imagined,their hips brushing together and their lungs almost out of air.His arms snaked around the taller boy's waist and they were now a wonderful mess of arms and lips and breaths,the blonde cupping his cheek with one of his hands in order to deepen the kiss.He loved the way Scot kept pulling him in and keeping him close,like he didn't want to let go.

Until he eventually did,and his expression left Mitch horrified,because he could read guilt in his eyes,and maybe even panic.

'No,I'm sorry,I can't-we can't do this' Scott backed away with little steps and dark clouds rose in his eyes-a storm,his throat closing up.Mitch stared back with piercing eyes,confused and hurt,and Scott couldn't even piece two coherent words together.

'This -this was a mistake.I can't,I'm sorry,I'm going to ruin everything,I made a promise' Now he looked everywhere but the brunette's eyes because his were welling with tears at an alarming rate and the emotions were taking over him.But to Mitch it made no sense,because it simply felt like  his heart  was being ripped out of his chest and then covered in mumbled,half spoken words.

'What are you talking about?You-you're the one that kissed me in the first place.You came onto me.I stayed quiet because of her,you were the one that-' Mitch was literally shaking with anger and sadness,and now his voice reached a yell.'What is this,inviting me here and pinning me against kitchen cabinets and kissing me on your balcony with your girlfriend in the other room and giving me hope and I can't believe I was ever in -'

'I think you should go.' Scott's voice wasn't loud,it was a mere whisper,it was just overcome with guilt.He looked down at the floor,because he was too scared to see what Mitch's eyes must've looked in that moment.'You know what,Scott?Fuck you.'

The balcony door vibrated when it closed with a loud bang.Scott exhaled heavily,knowing too well this wasn't just one of their fights.It would take more than a few days of not talking.In fact,he wasn't sure Mitch would ever talk to him again.Not that Scott blamed him.Instead,maybe it was better for him,for Mitch's sanity.

But it still hurt,a lot.Maybe too much to bear.His lips still burned from their kiss and now he had to figure out how the hell was he supposed to endure all this .. without Mitch.