melancholia. [ ALTERNATE SPIN-OFF ] [ BILLY HARGROVE ]

v. CHAPTER THREE

~*~
warning: mature language

     Steve slid the VHS tape to the customer, tapping it twice. 

     "Now this baby, a true masterpiece," he said, not having a single idea what he was saying about the movie. He'd never even seen half the movies he sold. "One of..." He read the director's name upside down, "Lucas's best films yet." 

     "So, it's the best Star Wars?" the customer asked, raising an eyebrow. 

     "Oh, yeah. In my opinion," Steve shrugged. "A plus plus." The customer looked it, then nodded slightly. 

     "I'll take it," they said with a smile. Steve scanned the movie for them, and got paid. "Keep the change. Thank you!" Steve smiled as they walked out, turning to Robin who was watching. 

     "Did you seriously just tell them that the first Star Wars was the best?" she asked. 

    "Because I have to sell somehow. Or else I won't get tips," Steve said with a small shrug. 

     "That was the first tip you've gotten today, and you've served ten other people," Robin said with a smug smile. A car pulled up outside, both of them turning to look at it. "Okay, sell to this person and don't lie." 

     "Easy. If they ask what the movies about, I'll just tell them I don't know. Because I probably won't," Steve said with a shrug. He saw Robins's face turn pale instantly, a horrified yet shocked look on her face. He furrowed his eyebrows, then turned around to see who Robin was staring at. His eyes and face dropped, and he was sure he had the same look on his face. 

     "Oh, come one. I came to you specifically so this wouldn't happen," Mary complained. 

     "Are we high?" Steve asked, glancing at Robin. 

     "No, this is real," Robin nodded slowly. 

     "Okay, I know how this looks. Two years, weird thingy, me dying. I can explain everything. You just need to wipe that stupid look off your face," Mary said, shoulders sagging in frustration. Steve pushed himself over the counter, hopping down in front of Mary. He pulled her into a hug, the girl returning it quickly. His eyes remained wide as the hug felt the exact same as it always had. He gripped her tighter, Mary nearly choking at his hold. "Steve, too tight." He stepped back, examining her face carefully. "It's me, dipshit, okay? It's really me." 

     "I... I don't know what to say," Steve said, eyes still wide in shock. 

     "Good, that's perfect. You need to call Dustin here," Mary said with a small nod. 

     "He already comes here everyday after school. He should be here any second," Steve said, pointing to the clock on the wall. The sound of a car pulling up outside made all of them turn to the noise, Steve noticing the driver to be exactly who they were waiting for. "That's him." 

     "I guess its now or never, right?" Mary asked, looking over at Steve. 

     "I have so many questions," Steve said, shaking his head at her slowly. "I can't even cry, I'm still not sure if this is a dream or not." 

     "It's not. Trust me," Mary said, patting his shoulder. She saw Dustin climb out of the car, taking a deep breath. "Here we go." 

~*~

     Billy was still thinking about the question that Amanda had asked, him, his mind running wild with what the answer could possibly be. He was fiddling with his hands, hating how this question was brought up. He wanted to believe that she'd be just as heartbroken as he was over all of this. 

     "Do you want to tell me about her anymore?" Amanda asked, placing a had on top of Billy's. He hated it when she did that. He could only think of Mary, and how only she was allowed to be so soft and gentle with him. "How she died? You still haven't told anyone." He remember reading about the fire in the paper, knowing it was a bunch of bullshit. 

     "The papers said it was a fire," Billy began. "At the mall." 

     "But you were there," Amanda said, leaning back in her chair. She pulled her hand away from his, picking her pen up again. 

     "I was," Billy nodded. "I said the papers called it a fire. Because the truth is so much worse." He shook his head, remembering the Mind Flayer being inside of him. In his mind, controlling his every move without a second thought. How he was going to eventually have to hurt Mary. 

     "Would you like to share about that?" Amanda asked, pen going to her paper in preparation to write. Billy clenched his jaw, practically seeing in his head what that creature did to Mary. He could see its claws in her sides, her back, and her arms holding it back. He remember the blood, and her final breath. He remember everything so clearly, and he wished he didn't. 

     "No," Billy said. "I can't." Amanda frowned as she saw the tears forming in his eyes again. He took a shaky breath, looking up to the woman across from him. "Sometimes... I'll remember something about her, like her arms around my waist, or I'll hear someone talk and I'll think it's her." Billy paused, clenching his fist tightly. "And I'll stop walking or I'll stop what I'm doing, and I'll just think about it for a while. Think about how I'm never going to get any of that back." He cried out, head falling into his hands. "It's not fair that everyone else gets to keep the people they love, and I had to lose the one person in my life that loved me. That made me happy." 

     "Billy, if you don't talk more about how she died, none of this will go away," Amanda said, frowning at him. 

     "I can't!" Billy yelled. "Because if I talk about it, and I say it out loud, then its real! And if it's real, that means I'll never, ever get to hold her again!" Amanda leaned back at the outburst, Billy breathing heavily as the words kept forming in his mind. "I'll never get to hear her voice, or feel her hand inside of mine, or see her smile, or laugh, a-and I won't get to grow old with her and give her everything. Because she's gone. She's..." Billy trailed off, hyperventilating then. "She's gone." He gasped out, his head falling into his hands again. He cried harder, Amanda taking a deep breath as she watched him fall apart in front of her. 

     It was silent between the two, the only sound being Billy crying. His head was hurting from doing it for so long, and his stomach was churning in pain. Amanda sighed quietly, clicking her pen and setting her notes to the side. She went to her phone, dialing Jackson's number for him to come pick up Billy. 

     "Hello?" Jackson answered. 

     "Jackson, it's Dr. Craig. I'm afraid you're going to have to come pick him up," she said, her voice soft and quiet to not alarm Billy. 

     "I'll be there soon," Jackson responded, sounding disappointed. They both hung up the phone, Amanda turning back to Billy. She walked to him, squatting down and placing a hand on his knee. 

     "Billy, would you like to lay down?" she asked quietly. He didn't answer her, he didn't even shake his head yes or no. Amanda took a moment, head dropping. She took a deep breath to gain her own composure, then looked up at him again. "If... If Mary were here, or if she were alive by some miracle and she's been missing for these two years... What would you say to her?" That question got Billy's attention. He'd thought of it so many times, and he'd finally settled for at least one answer. 

     "If, after two years, she just showed up... I'd cry when I saw her," he said, eyes going to Amanda. "Then I would hug her like I would never let go of her. Then I'd ask her why she did it." Billy breathed in, looking down to his hands again. "I'd ask her why she sacrificed herself to save me." Amanda nearly perked up at his words, finally finding the root of the problem. Why Billy Hargrove was so broken. 

     He'd watched Mary die. 

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y'all just let you know
this is a sad ass book
this is not gonna get happy for a while
so if you can't handle that
i'd come back at a later date

but i hope you enjoyed, nonetheless