After the Crash ✓

17| Stains that won't Go

In an attempt to get rid of the huge brooding coffee mark on my white jumper, I use almost the cafes monthly supply of tissues. The result is a lighter but still visible stain and flecks of cheap tissue paper littered on my jumper.

Shauna and Murphy sit opposite in the booth, cackling and the other customers try to hide their smirks.

"And then she went," Shauna mimics Isla throwing her cup of coffee all over me. "It was hilarious, Bradley."

I give her the 'it-was-definitely-not-hilarious' look accompanied by a death stare. She gets my point and immediately falls silent.

"Bradley, just go and change. We have Support Group in less than an hour." Murphy pushes his curls out of his face.

"Like you care about timing." I say bitterly.

I scold myself for being so childish about the situation. Don't let your anger overcome you, I imagine Dr Chris saying like a good angel on my shoulder. But, I'm so annoyed.

I, Bradley Monse, blew it. Yet again.

"Bradley, it's just some dumb girl." Shauna says quietly. "You'll get over her."

"No. I won't." I whisper, clamping my eyes shut to stop the tears storming out.

Murphy places his arms around my shoulder, and he leans in and says:

"That's why we are gonna win her back."

"And now commences Operation bring-her-to-the-dark-side." Murphy adds with a goofy grin.

Maybe, this will all work out after all. I'm struggling to forgive myself, currently. But, I have to try not to blow it.

From now on, I'm going to be honest. Even if it means ruining everything.

●●●

The circle is more lopsided than usual. Christopher sits at one of the corners.

"Hello, everyone!" He claps his hands together. "How are you today?"

A series of mumbles break out, most of them seemingly negative.

"Shall we go around the circle?" Christopher says, ignoring the cacophony of moans.

Isaac goes first, because he sits directly next to Christopher.

"I got my tumor removed yesterday. So, I'm waiting back to see whether the cancer has cleared." He flashes everyone a small smile and his eyes divert back to his lap, where they are usually focused.

Christopher breaks into applause.

"Congratulations, Isaac." He smiles.

Minny goes next.

"I saw a new counsellor yesterday." Minny says. "She was nice and all." She looks at Christopher signalling that she's finished, with a short smile.

"That's wonderful, Minny!" He applauds her too.

Afterwards, it's Lil's go.

"I just like stopped like going like to the gang. I ditched them and bruh they weren't happy." She finishes after a series of likes. I notice her hair has now been dyed emerald green.

Then, I realise it's Shauna's go. Knowing her, she probably isn't intending to update anyone on her life, she'll most likely crack a joke, leaving Christopher annoyed and her and Murphy exchanging laughs.

Stifling a chuckle and fiddling with her hair, Shauna eventually speaks.

"I haven't stolen stuff for the last hour." She says, smirking and looking at her watch.

"But, you've been here for an hour." Christopher shoots Shauna a confused face before eventually understanding.

Murphy bursts out laughing.

"Good one, Shauns." They high-five, while Christopher leans back deflated like a popped balloon.

After a short sigh from Christopher, my go begins.

How am I?

Crap. Heartbroken. Wanting to slap my self across the face every moment for being such a huge jerk to Isla.

But, instead of voicing my true depressed feelings, I reply with:

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Christopher nods, before moving on to Murphy, who looks at me like I've just committed a felony. But, if there's one thing I love about Shauna and Murphy, they understand when I don't want to talk. Well, mostly.

Murphy moves on with his turn, boring everyone to death with his enormous study schedule that he's not yet dedicated one minute to. He has exams next week, but Murphy's a very spontaneous guy. In his words, he's 'winging it.'

Once Support Group terminates with a final joke from Shauna, some people look happy and others look upset. I, for one, probably look like a little kid who just let go of his balloon, while most people beam.

We all stream out, but I'm quickly stalled by Christopher.

"Hey, Brad."

"It's Bradley." I shoot him an angry look, that I immediately regret.

"Can we talk?" He asks, with a crooked smile.

Having been left with no choice, I sit down in my previous chair and he takes his. We're so far apart, we can barely hold a conversation, however Christopher insists that 'I speak my true feelings in the noble clutch of Jesus.'

"What's up, Bradley?" He asks enthusiastically, like a caffeinated Jack Russel.

"Nothing." I shake my head. There is no way I'm sharing personal information with Christopher. And I just saw Murphy's head bobbing up and down at the keyhole, most likely with Shauna.

"Come on Bradley. I know a heart broken lad when I see one." Christopher exhales. "Talk to me, we're safe in Jesus' Clutch." He motions to the clearly empty air around him.

Safe, but not quite safe from Shauna and Murphy.

"Honestly Christopher. You've got it all wrong. I'm fine." I try to sound convincing, but my voice breaks mid-sentence and it sounds like I'm about to burst into tears.

I get up and leave. Christopher clearly looks upset. He knows something is up.

"Chocolate and flowers." I hear a tiny voice whisper.

I turn back to see Christopher rising and beginning to pile up the chairs.

"What?" I ask, echoing my confusion.

Has Christopher lost it? Wait. Correction: has Christopher lost it more than he already has?

"Best way to win any girl back." He smiles. "I don't know what in the holy Jesus you've done, Brad. But, something tells me this girl is really worth fighting for." Christopher utters his words of wisdom and finally something clicks in my brain.

I have to win Isla back. I'm not letting her go ever again. I finally have a plan. And, it involves a few things, but mostly chocolate and flowers.

"Thanks." I quickly mumble to Christopher with a genuine truthfulness, before leaving Support Group and heading to the flower shop I saw on the way.