Not Her

CHAPTER 8

I AM A FUCKING COWARD!

My future husband has not been showing to school for almost two weeks. And all I’m doing is worrying here, and making my parents worry about me.

I should have gone to his house and looked for him way earlier. We are friends now. I think.

I made that decision last night and couldn’t sleep afterward, thinking about what to say and what to do. I was excited, scared and somehow happy.

I got off the bed and took a cold shower. I tried to dress up nicely but it didn’t work; my closet contains only tee-shirts, sweatshirts and a ton of jeans all black and blue. There is not a single colored item in it. Literally.

It’s kind of early for a Saturday visit. What if he’s still sleeping? Should I come back later? Or ….

"Just go for it, you coward!"

I got in front of the house, knocked and took a deep breath.  A long-time passed before a tall blond woman opened the door. For a minute I thought nobody was there.  I was ready to get back.

The woman was in her forties, had a great skinny body, gorgeous hair and a pleasant face smiling at me. She must be Jordan’s mother.

If he had such a great mother, why is he so sad? What are the “family problems” could this gorgeous mom cause?

‘Ma'am, I’m looking for Jordan, does he live here?’

‘Yes, sweetheart! Are you his girlfriend?’ she asked smiling.

No. His boyfriend.

‘Umm… No, I’m just a friend.’ I was for sure blushing. ‘I just want to see him.’

‘Of course honey, come in.’

I entered the house. Everything felt like home, a well-organized living room and clean kitchen, all smelling so good. It was really nice for a neighborhood like this one. Usually, houses in this block are messed up, there are marijuana and drogues everywhere. They smell like dead bodies. I’ve been in one before. Not pretty.

‘I’m Scar, and you are?’

‘Laura,' I answered shaking her hand.

‘You are his first visit, he will be very happy to see you.’

A visit? What the hell happened?

Scar knocked at his room and got in to ask him if I can see him. I stood there behind the door wondering: What if he doesn’t want to see me? Do we actually know each other that well so I can come to his house on a Saturday? This early in the morning?! Are we really "friends?"

I don’t think so, friends talk more than three times…And friends don’t talk about kissing each other...

Overthinking. Again! Give it a rest for fuck sake.

‘Laura; come in honey,' said Scar.

I gathered my courage and got into the bedroom.

Jordan was laying on his back with gypsum on his left leg and a face full of bruises...

‘WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?’ I yelled.

Standing by the door, Jordan’s mother smiled at us and left. He smiled too. I don’t know if he was happy to see me or it was just funny hearing me swear for the first time. I couldn’t help it though. I never yell or swear. I can control my reactions and emotions in front of others. But not always …Not when I see Jordan like this.