It's been 7 months since he left Barmer, both were living hell without each other, they use to wrote letters, that was the only source which kept them connected,
he use to tell her about his mission and in return she told him what new she is learning, he could sense her excitement in letters, he use to chuckle at them, he can even sense her gloominess when she use to ask him when he is coming back,
she is missing him like hell, there is no one with whom she can talk, share her her thoughts, sorrow, happiness....
He remembers when he was leaving, His heart ached when he saw her eyes full of tears instead of mischievous glint, her lips quivering instead of that smile which adorns her, her heart wrenching sobs instead of her giggles, they were killing him from inside.
Reading her letters were the only moments which made him happy and kept him going on in the hope of them meeting again,
he knows deep down in his heart that they are not just friends now, they are way beyond than just being friends..
This seperation made him understand that.
He craves to see her eyes glitter with child like excitement, he yearns to see that innocent smile of hers, he desperately wants to hear her endless chatter...
He don't know when he will be able to see her next.....
Will he ever be able to meet her in this life? What if death comes before her? He cannot die without meeting her one last time...
No he definitely cannot...
Whenever she use to ask about his visit, he felt like running to her without any care in the world as if she is the only source of light in his life dark life.. Which is true. But in the Very next moment MaaSa's words comes back to him, and he steps back.
He cannot break his promise after all whatever they had done for an orphan like him.
May be he has to stay in this beautiful pain of seperation
But for now her letters and her picture which he secretly took before leaving, are his only support system to live without her,
he use to read her letters every night all over again and again, then sleeps hugging them under the sky full of stars... Absorbing her essence from those letters.
she has become his life supporting drug.. He knows that she is a forbidden territory, he shouldn't be thinking about her like this, he even tried to curb this feeling but it's not in his hold,
it's getting out of control.
One day her letters stopped coming...it's been three months but not a single letter has came from her side,
he wrote her many letters, they remained unanswered, he wondered what had happened.
He never felt this much miserable in life before, he was getting restless, he can't even go there. Is she fine? What if something happened to her.....
The thought of something bad happened to her made him paranoid, so he decided to write a letter to one of his most trusted person in the Mahal, His Bhabi Sa.
It's been a week since he wrote letter to Sunidhi Bhabhi asking about the well being of everyone in the Mahal, his patience was running out as the time was passing by, he decides to go Barmer by himself he will face the consequences latter, he was about to apply for leave when his letter came, he quickly snatched the letter from oderly.. He felt as if his breath came back.. He started to tore envelope with haste.. And smiled in satisfaction that everything is fine. But then why Naina isn't replying him.. He wondered.
But as he read the next line... Earth slipped beneath his feat, no this cannot happen, he can't even imagine in what condition she will be in, how she will be handling it all by herself... She will be so much strained.
Without wasting another moment he packed his bag and without even bothering to tell anyone about his departure.... He left.... For Barmer... Towards his peace... Towards his breath... Towards his life..... Towards his LOVE.
kisi daraaz ke kone mein, teri tasveer mili hai, fir wahi kaaton safar.. Fir wahi phoolon ki gali, wahi phoolon ki gali.
🌺🌻🌹🌷🌺🌻🌹🌷🌺🌻🌹🌷🌺🌻🌹🌷
Barmer 1952
It's almost midnight when he reached Mahal, it was raining cats and dogs, the guards was shocked to see him at this time that too unannounced, Makkhan Kaka saw him... He too was surprised seeing him at this odd hour.. He had no idea of his arrival, he went near him..
"Arey chote Kunwar, apne bataya nahi ke aap ane wale hai...? " When he got no reply from him, he saw him properly he was looking disheveled, messed up, his eyes were red... He understood that something is seriously wrong as he never saw him in this state, thought it's better to not ask him anything.
"Laiye, chotte mallik apna saman hume de dijiye" Without saying or looking at him, he left his bag there.. And ran towards the upper left wing of the Mahal, where his life is waiting.
He went inside her room without knocking but found it empty without wasting any moment he went in Sunidhi's room.
"Bhabhi sa Naina kaha hai? " He barged inside.
"Dever Sa, aap... Yaha is waqt" She was shocked to see him at this hour in this condition.
"Mein iss waqt apke sawalo ka jawab nahi de sakta bhabhi sa, app please ye bataiye Naina kaha hai". He asked urgently.
"Wo shayad.. Apne kamre me hogi" She says looking confused at his state.
"Nahi waha nahi hai.... "
"Waha nahi hai to iss waqt itni tezz barish me kaha ja sakti hai" She too become tensed.
"Me dhundta hu.... " Ran to look for her, it's been 20 minutes he looked at every corner of Mahal but didn't found her, he was shivering with fear, what if she did something silly, he was clueless... Where to look for her. He then rembers, her favorite place. He ran towards the terrace.
When he reached there, he took a sigh of relief, he saw her standing in rain getting drenched... She turns around and saw him without any expression.. His heart came to his mouth looking at her condition, she looks weak, pale, her eyes went in hole, her rosy cheeks lost it's colour, gone was her natural glow... Her eyes screaming her pain, complaining about something to him.
He starts to walk towards her with steady steps, she also went near him... Even in this heavy rain he can make out that she is crying... Not able to see her like this... He hugged her tightly trying to absorb her pain, after a while she too hugged him back with all her might as if her life depends on him... She started to cry her heart out, he was whispering sweet words to her her... But she keeps on crying loudly.
"Baba.... " That was all she could say..
"Shh... Mein hu na Naina, me hu tumhare sath.... Tumhare pass" He tried to console her.
She was still weeping " apne apna wada tod diya... Jab hume sabse zyada apki zarurat thi.... Aap nahi the... " She was complaining.
"Naina mein.... " He was clueless of what to say.
"Baba chale gaye.... Wo hume chhod ke chale gaye... " She was wailing "or apne bhi humse muh mod liya... Apka kitna intezar kiya.... Aap nahi aye... Nahi aye aap".
" Naina... Mujhe malum nahi tha.. Ye sab.... Lekin jaise hi mujhe pata chala... Me sab kuch chhod ke tumhare pass agaya... Trust me Naina, " He pulls her a little bit apart by holding her arms so he can see her face properly. "Mere liye tumse zyada kuch bhi mayene nahi rakhta..... Tumhari khushi tumhara dukh mere liye sab kuch hai... " He said sincerely.
"Hum... Hum bahot.. Akele ho gaye hai.. " She said with quivering lips.
"Mere rehte tum kabhi akeli nahi hogi naina..... Mein tumhe ab kabhi akela nahi chhodunga... Tumse dur jake dekh liya hai.... Ek pal chain ka nahi beeta paya.... Tumse dur hoke jana hai, ki tum meri kya ho".
"Hum bhi apke bina nahi reh sakte, ab ap mat jaiyega... Mat jaiyega... Iss bar shyaad hum bardaasht na kar paye.... Iss baar gaye..to ake sath hamari jaan bhi chali jayegi..." He hugged her tightly not even able to hear about her dying.
"Mein yahi hu Naina, ab kahi nahi jaunga Naina, kahi nahi.. Sirf tumhara ban ke rahunga... Sirf tumhara.. " He kissed her forehead, keeps assuring her.
They cried together, hugging tightly as if their life depends on each other, declaring their love even without confessing, slowly she passed out in his arms after continues crying, they were unaware about the pair of eyes watching them from long.
