Sister Styles

{9} Cuts & Fights

WARNING: This chapter gets talks about mental health and may offend some readers. If you think or feel you may be offended, please skip the chapter and move on. Thank you.

Payton just stared at me, but I didn't look up. I just sat there, staring blankly at the paper that said it all. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Lil," he sympathized, reaching across the table to grab my hand but I pulled away.

I gazed at the paper. My jaw clenched. My tears, rolling down and off my cheeks, splashing and soaking into the folded sheet. I re-read it, to make sure I didn't miss anything. Nope. Everything was there. Crystal clear. I can't believe this. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Harry must've had something to do with this. Somebody must have told him about me and then he told them to say no to me. How could he? I thought he was my brother! I thought he wanted to see me! I guess I just thought wrong. And the more I thought about this, the more my rage boiled in my stomach.

The disappointment was now removed from my body, replacing it with anger that possessed me demonicly. "This is all your fault." I said, low and clear anger in my tone.

"What?"

I flicked my eyes up to Payton's. He looked at me confused but I could see clearly behind his brown eyes, that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"You heard me," I spat, crumpling up the paper and throwing it at him. "This is all your fault!"

I started shouting. My voice was loud and noticeable. Everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at the scene. I didn't care. It didn't bother me. It did, however, seem to bother Payton because he glanced around the room and tried to smile at everyone, then moved uncomfortably in his chair. I couldn't take this. I can't be here.

Before he could say anything else, I was up on my feet, running from the table.

"Wait, hold on," Payton called out, trying to keep quiet as the silent restaurant witnessed the drama. "Lilli, come back here!"

I didn't turn. I didn't even hesitate. I just continued running, no, sprinting. I had to get out of here. I had to get somewhere; somewhere that wasn't in Cheshire. I needed someone that doesn't live in Cheshire. Now, my first instinct was to immediately dial Harry's number, but it was too late to call him now. He hates me.

I heard my name being hollered and called out from down the street, but I didn't listen. I tuned it out and kept my pace, listening to my heart beating loud in my ears. I ran across the street, down Ballmen Avenue, taking a sharp turn onto Mayfire North Street, and kept there until I got to the apartment building.

I shot up the elevator, taking the spare hidden key to my apartment from outside, then locked the door inside. I slid against the heavy door and I just couldn't hold it any longer. My head was pounding harder than before. My anxiety levels rising. I could feel the heat spreading in my chest. I could feel the air slipping out from in front of me. The tears and sobbing started and I knew there would be no stopping it now.

I can't believe this. Harry's gone. He's gone and there is no way I'll ever be able to get him back again. I'm not good enough for him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to see him and tell him everything that's been happening in the past four years. I wanted to hug him and tell him I missed him. He's my brother. My twin brother. I've been inseparable from him since birth. At least up until he left for that stupid X Factor show.

It was my mum's idea to send him to the X Factor. She said it would be good for the family. She said it would make us happy again since Dad left. Well do I look freaking happy now? No. I'm a depressed mess that just wants her brother back.