𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 | 𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙢𝙖

CHAPTER 13

SONG FOR THE CHAPTER: Venice Bitch- Lana Del Rey.

"Life's dream, I'm sweet for you."

EMMA CHAMBERLAIN

We sat outside of the school building, sitting under a tree as we watched the teens make their way out of the building. I couldn't help but notice how silent Ethan has been, watching as his hands pick through the grass beside him.

"You okay in there?" I speak as I tap my finger lightly onto his forehead; a smile creeping on his face.

"I'm all good, just tired I guess," he raises his head, glancing at me before moving his sights to the teens scattered across the courtyard, "you ever wonder what it's like to go to a normal school?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, all of these kids, they all just seem so; happy?" he says as a question, "I don't know, I guess I just feel like I'm surrounded by people that actually have something going for them; a future."

"Do you not believe that you have a future?"

"Come on, have you met me? I've got no talent, no family, no nothing."

I lean close to him, resting my head on his shoulder, "you have something, Ethan Dolan, you just need the time to find it."

"I think I already have," his voice whispers sending chills down my body.

I wanted to tell him; tell him that I loved him with every ounce of my being. It's something I knew I needed to let out into the world, and to let him completely in.

I used to give people parts of me that they didn't appreciate, I showed them bits of my life that they didn't seem to care for. I let them hurt me in ways that I never could quite understand.

For years I kept building a hatred inside for the people that had left me broken, gashes decorating my heart from the people I'd given everything to.

When Ethan came around, those wounds seemed less important. The hatred disappeared, and is now replaced with love.

I wanted nothing more than to scream it loud so everyone knew, that I love him.

"Bro, that was insane!" I hear a voice from behind. I guess there's a time and place for everything, and now was not the time for my confession.

I turn to see Lib and Bri walking hand in hand towards us, Ethan is quick to his feet being taken aback by their presence.

"You literally drove a motorcycle through the school hallway, where the fuck have you guys been all our lives?" Lib exclaims, smiling brightly in excitement.

Ethan shuts down, not knowing what to say. I'm up on my feet gravitating towards him, "Ethan, this is Lib and Bri; I met them in detention."

"What's up?" they speak in unison. Ethan stays silent, slightly moving his head upward saying hello to them. "Nice to meet you?" they speak as a question, being confused as to why he's staying mute.

"So you guys are definitely coming to that party with us tonight!" Bri speaks as she snakes an arm around Lib. I feel Ethan's eyes move to me.

"I don't know about that, a party full of preppy ass kids trashing their parents house? Doesn't sound too promising," he finally breaks his silence.

"Oh come on, and we are not preppy kids, but we will definitely be trashing their parents house," Lib laughs as she speaks, "it'll be great, seriously."

"I don't even think I have any party attire," I exclaim.

"Oh I've got plenty of things you could borrow! You guys can come over, we'll get you some clothes and we can pregame! It'll be great I swear," Bri continues and I'm sold on pregame, Ethan however still looks questionable.

"Come on, I think it might be fun. Plus we don't have to leave till tomorrow," I turn to him, wrapping my arms around his waste. His eyes turn down on me, taking a deep breathe in.

"Fine," he sighs.

"Perfect! You guys can just follow us to my house!" Bri smiles, turning to Lib and taking her hand again, heading towards the parking lot.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. If it's lame or if there's trouble, we can leave," I whisper to Ethan as we follow behind them.

"I just don't want anything to go wrong," he takes my hand in his.

"Everything will be fine, we're fine."

-

I have completely fallen in love with Bri and Lib; in a platonic way that is. They're the friends that I had always wished for, the ones that you can scream songs at the top of your lungs to. The ones that tease you and laugh at your idiotic jokes, the best friends that you've clicked with from the start.

But it broke me knowing this was only for the night.

Ethan has warmed up to them, especially after a couple of drinks in. Lib and Bri found our lives interesting, and they didn't judge a single part of it.

We're currently piled in an Uber— Ethan and I are in the back and Lib and Bri are in front of us. I felt butterflies flying through my stomach, I'd never been to a party, so the thought of being surrounded by hundreds of teenagers in an expensive ass house made my anxiety sky rocket.

"You're shaking, Em," Ethan whispers as his hand rests on my thigh, "what's wrong?"

"Just nervous I guess, I've never been to party like this."

"What happened to you being excited?" he questions, rubbing his hand up and down my thigh.

"I am excited, just a little uneasy about the amount of people that are gonna be crowded around me."

"I won't let anything happen to you, and if you're uncomfortable, just say the word and we'll go," he moves his hand to my cheek, forcing my eyes to his.

I nod, leaning in and meeting his lips for a quick peck.

"I love you."

His eyes widen, as do mine. It's not even that I meant to say it at this very moment, it just came out. I subconsciously curse myself and the alcohol running through my veins, knowing it was the reason I had major word vomit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"I love you too."

That's all I needed to hear from him, the nerves disappearing in seconds. The words I had craved to hear for what felt like an eternity.

My cheeks hurt from how hard I'm smiling, not wasting another second before pulling Ethan towards me and crashing my lips onto his.

It was a kiss that felt nothing like any of ours before, it wasn't full of lust or hunger— it was filled with passion. The world around us disappeared for a few seconds; it was him and I alone.

"Hey lovebirds, cut that shit. We've arrived." Lib's voice calls in front of us, ending our moment. I break from Ethan, turning to look through the window.

"Holy shit this place is fucking huge," I mumble quietly.

"Yeah let's get in and drink ourselves to death," she speaks again, opening the door and exiting the car.

"They better have soundproof walls back at Bri's place," Ethan whispers into my ear, running his hand across my arm.

"Why is that?"

"Tonight I just want to show you how much I love you, Emma Chamberlain."