「 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕩 𝕠𝕗 𝔸𝕘𝕖𝕤」

「 chapter one」

"Nee, Madara-chan, I'd like you to meet my otouto!"

Yuna started choking on her berry.

Pardon me? Did this boy literally bring his little brother?

Senju Tobirama? The U.H.B (short for Uchiha Hating Bastard) who killed Madara's little brother and made him start a fUCKING WAR??

Bruh moment. 

I mean, Hashirama didn't even know he was an Uchiha. So I guess it's alright. As long as they don't meet-

"Tch. I told you not to call me 'Madara-chan'. And likewise, here is my otouto."

Right as I fucking said that. Damn, Kami really played me, didn't he. Or was it Kishimoto? Who fucking knows. They're both bitches.

Tobirama bowed. "Ohayou Gozaimasu. My name is Tobirama."

Not giving out his last name. Hmm, he's kinda smart. I give him a 7/10.

"Likewise. The name is Izuna."

Damn, he's smart too.

"Ah, why are you so uptight!" Hashirama slapped Tobirama on the back. "It's fine, he's a friend!"

"iT's FiNe, He'S a FrIeNd." Yuna mocked, lying down.

Hashirama gasped. "AKA-CHAN!~~"

Shit.

Hashirama ran over and grabbed Yuna, rubbing her against his cheek.

And yeah, they named me. 

"Red...?" Tobirama asked, cocking his head.

"Yeah! This fox is name is Aka-chan. It's 'cause she's red." 

You don't fucking say.

"But Hashirama-nii! She could be a spy or - !"

"Tobirama, she is not a spy."

Aw, thanks, you trust me.

"She's too dumb to be a spy."

Bitch I-

"He's right," Madara added. "One time, she fell into the lake."

Madara! Plus, it wasn't her fault! She was trying to get berries but she leaned too far and fell in! You can't even skip a rock across a lake! Even she could do that! And she sucked at everything! So fuck you, Madara!

She grumbled and put her head in her paws on the ground.

Izuna cocked his head. "It appears as though she can understand us."

Yuna jumped up, yowling. "FUCKING FINALLY! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO SAY THAT. HALLELUJAH!"

"No, she can't," Tobirama deadpanned. "Whoever heard of a fox that talks?"

Well whoever heard of a Senju that, um, is blue! Ha, take that.

Yuna glared at him. "I am not liking your attitude, bitch."

Izuna stared. "It looks like she's lecturing you."

"She is not lecturing me."

"She is too."

"Not."

"Too."

"NOT."

"TOO."

"SHE IS NOT LECTURING ME-"

"SHE IS!"

Damn. The real reason the Senju and the Uchiha hate each other.

She poked her head up just in time for Hashirama to clonk his brother on the head and Madara to do the same. She snickered.

"Don't laugh at me!" Izuna shouted, pointing at Yuna. "I'm from the prestigious Uc-"

"FUUUUUCK-" Yuna shouted, cutting Izuna off. "I mean, HAHAHA! SO FUNNY! ALMOST REVEALING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE ENEMY! AHAHA!"

Madara also deadpanned but slipped Yuna a blueberry.

"Tch." Tobirama turned his head away.

- Awkward Silence -

"Hey anyone wanna know how Madara-chan and I met?"

Yuna peeked up. This was never mentioned in canon. Or was it? It's been so long.

"Don't tell them-"

"Madara-chan was practicing skipping stones-"

"i tOLD YOU TO STOP-"

"And then he shot a stone at my head 'cause he can't throw-"

"nO SHUT UP-"

"SO I GRABBED HIM-"

"I'LL KILL YOU-"

"AND THREW HIM INTO THE RIVER-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP HASHIRAMA-"

"AND HE STARTED DROWNING." Hashirama finished.

Damn. Can he not swim?

Izuna appeared to be thinking the same thing because he turned to his brother and whispered rather loudly. "Aniki, can you not swim? Even I can swim."

Madara turned bright red. "SHUT UP! I CAN SWIM! THE RIVER WAS JUST HARD TO SWIM IN, OK?"

Hashirama giggled. "I bet even Aka-chan can swim in there."

Who?...

Oh shit. Aka-chan was Yuna.

"Let's see if she can!"

Bitch, don't you fucking dare-

Hashirama grabbed Yuna by the scruff and threw her into the river beside them.

"BITCH I AM TRYING TO SAVE YOUR VILLAGE CAN YOU AT LEAST KEEP ME ALIVE-"