Wolves

17

hi i redrew libidine, the baddest bitch. Also, this chapter's kinda short bc I don't know what to do with myself but get ready, after this is when things go crazy go stupid,

It's almost casualty time >:)
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That night, (Y/N) went to bed with heavily guarded doors. There was still no sign of Mani even after an extensive search of the palace. Of course, the search continued far into the kingdom, but until he was found, (Y/N) wasn't allowed outside of the castle. 

She tried taking a shower to get her mind off of things, but it was no use at all. With ample time alone, all she got to do was think, and she left feeling even more anxious and exhausted.

It was late, but (Y/N) didn't know what time it was. She'd spent hours in the dining room until her mother returned and brought her safely to her room. Kasdeya and Kesmon were escorted home by Libidine after the long and quiet dinner, but Kasdeya had fallen asleep and her father had to carry her.

(Y/N) was tired, herself. She could barely keep her eyes open, and thought she would fall asleep as soon as her back touched the mattress despite her troubled mind. She left the bathroom, in the most comfortable pajamas she could find, and turned the light off behind her.

She expected Bill to be in bed already, but he was sat up at the table. His eyes showed brief moments of what he was thinking, and by the looks of it, it was nothing good. Each fragment was more horrifying than the last, all involving Mani and what Bill wanted to do to him. (Y/N) felt her heart falter momentarily from just the small glimpses.

"Bill," She called out, but he was too deep in thought. (Y/N) approached him and tentatively touched his shoulder, causing him to blink twice and look up at her.

He gave a tired smile. His eyes were soft and kind, and he looked at her as if she were something amazing. There was no sign of any malicious intent at all, yet (Y/N)'s heart still raced.

"Hey, Princess," He grabbed onto her arm and pulled her onto his lap. His arms fell around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

(Y/N) could tell he was tired as he pressed into her, and even still she found herself growing drowsier than she was just moments ago. Even when Bill was on the brink of collapse himself, he was still using his powers to make things easy for her.

"Hey," She said, pulling his hands away from her. "Don't over exert yourself. I'll be okay." Holding his hands securely in her own, she leaned into him, allowing herself to get comfortable–even though sitting on top of him really wasn't too comfortable at all. The back of her head rested perfectly on his shoulder, and as a brief token of affection, Bill pressed a kiss on her forehead. She spoke before he could.

"Don't you dare do anything you're planning to. Mom will handle Mani, and you know her punishments aren't easy. He'll get what's coming."

"I still wanna rip him to pieces." The way he spoke sent chills down (Y/N)'s back, and he glanced at her feeling her shift. "We'll see who finds him first."

"It won't be you."

"Don't you want him to die?"

"It's morally wrong to want someone to die."

Though, (Y/N) couldn't deny she would be pleased with Mani ceasing to exist. He tried to kill her, so it was only fair that she repaid the favor. However, her father taught her wrong from right, and as much as she wanted Mani to die, she knew she wasn't supposed to wish for it.

"That's so boring," Bill groaned, but (Y/N) smiled. She was glad to hear he was still himself in there, too, not just a bloodthirsty demon.

(Y/N) pulled herself out of his lap and laced their fingers together. "I'm tired, come lay with me."

Bill got to his feet without a single inappropriate comment or suggestive look and followed where (Y/N) led him. That alone made (Y/N) realize just how much was on his mind. She wished she could do something to make him feel better, but she, herself, had much to deal with. All she could give him for the time being was her company, and even still she knew he'd be perfectly content with that.

As they laid down, Bill held (Y/N) close, his lips right beside her ear. His warm breath made her hairs stand on edge and goosebumps danced along her skin.

"I scared you, huh?" Bill inquired. (y/N) felt too guilty to admit the truth aloud. "I know I'm not supposed to listen, but your thoughts are loud tonight, Princess."

"You just... I dunno, I haven't seen you upset like that in so long. And last time..."

There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Neither of them wished to acknowledge the last time he was angry like that was when he nearly killed her and her friends. They each had memories they wished they could forget, but life wasn't that kind.

Bill found his voice after a while. "I'm so sorry," He was sincere, as he always was when he apologized for his actions. But (Y/N) sensed something strange about him that time around. He gripped her tight and came as close as he could to her. "I wish I could take it back. I wish I never hurt you."

(Y/N) felt his breath become rigid and he pressed his forehead into her shoulder. There was a moment of silence, and then, (Y/N) realized he was crying.

In all her years of knowing Bill Cipher she'd never once seen or heard him cry. Not even when he was faced with the threat of death, or when everything he worked and planned for was thrown away. (Y/N)'d even got it into her head that he wasn't capable of crying, so when she felt him shaking beside her, she first felt alarmed. She didn't know what to do.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N),"

She remained silent as he latched onto her like she might vanish. She hated herself for not being able to say anything, but she was shocked. She had no idea he felt so guilty. And she'd done nothing for him.

"I'm sorry, too." Her voice was just barely above a whisper; that was all she could manage.

Yet the way he apologized made (Y/N) feel uncertain. She didn't know if he was apologizing for the past or the present. For what he'd done, or what he failed to do. Perhaps it was both at once. And he needed her to say anything, but there was nothing she could say.

So instead, (Y/N) allowed him to hold her, and she laid there cursing herself for being so incompetent. Every so often, she'd assure him that he was okay, that she was okay, and that they'd be fine, but that was all she could promise and it didn't seem like enough.

After he calmed down, Bill remained quiet for a few minutes. The silence shifted from uncomfortable to solemn, and (Y/N) felt a terrible twisting in her stomach.

"I... love you a lot, (Y/N)," Bill gently tugged on her hair, wrapping strands around his finger and then letting it fall.

"I love you a lot, too."

He pulled himself up and searched (Y/N) eyes for some unspoken answer to his silent question. When he found it, he smiled, though he looked sad, and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. He allowed his fingers to play with her hair as his other hand rested along her jaw. His fingers chilled her skin, but she didn't want him to go away. She felt as though she missed him although he'd never gone.

He refused to be anything but gentle with her, and in his touch alone (Y/N) felt the love he mentioned. And then, he pulled away, regarding her face in the moonlight. She offered him a smile as she brushed a few flyaway strands of hair out of his face.

"This is gonna turn out okay," (Y/N) said.

Bill nodded although he looked like he didn't believe her. "I hope you're right, kid." He kisses her again, and that time, (Y/N) felt as if all the energy left her at once. "For now, you should sleep. No tellin what they're gonna have us doing tomorrow."

Though she fought, Bill's tricks got the best of her, and (Y/N) drifted off into the world of dreams.