euphoria (gxg)

Chapter 5

"Hey babe, what's up?"

Cringing as I heard her coming closer, I closed my locker while taking a deep breathe. "My standards"

Not being bothered in the slightest she continued shamelessly flirting with me "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"No, but it stung like a b-tch when I scraped my knee crawling out from hell"

Seeing my best friend rounding the corner I quickly signaled her over with my eyes, pleading for help. She must have sensed someone burning holes in her head because next thing you know she's already standing besides me, insulting Katie "Some babies were dropped on their head" she said "but you were clearly thrown at a wall since you can't tell after countless rejections that Ayden isn't into you"

"Do you even hear yourself talk? You talk like an idiot"

"How else are you supposed to understand me?"

"Ugh anyways, leave. Me and Ayden were already talking. This is a rake and shovel conversation, we don't need a hoe."

Before I could say something to stand up for Gigi she was already clapping back "You're just mad because there's no vaccine against stupidity"

"Your comebacks are stupid"

"Well at least you two have something in common"

"I'd slap you, but I don't want to get sl-t on my hand"

"Why not? You already have it all over your outfit"

Things were escalating quickly and Gigi was really pissing Katie the f-ck off  "You're so stupid, you got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the ones with a W on them"

"You're so ugly that when you were born the doctor threw you out the window, but the window threw you back"

"Listen I know your life is a joke, but that doesn't make you funny"

"You know, you're kinda like Rapunzel. But instead of letting your hair down, you let down your family" Not having heard that one before, I snorted but tried to cover it up by coughing.

"I would insult your intelligence, but there just isn't enough to insult"

"If I threw a stick, you'd leave right?"

"You're not even worth the calories I burn talking to you" Having had enough Katie walked off, but not before giving a good eye roll and stomp with her foot.

Watching her disappear around the corner I bursted out laughing with Gigi following along. "Damn Gi" I said, still trying to catch my breath "How long have you waited to throw all those comebacks at her?"

"You don't even want to know" was her reply "Whenever I talk to her, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor"

"You should lay off on the insults my dear friend, you're gonna get yourself in some big trouble someday"

"I don't insult people, I describe them"

Realizing arguing isn't going to solve anything I just sighed "Sure you do, let's just head home now. Your place or mine?"

"Definitely yours, my mom is in one of her moods again"

What Gigi means by that is... well I don't even know how to explain her mom. She's one loony for sure, but I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. "What'd she do this time?"

"I asked her what would happen if a zombie apocalypse came and you know what she said?! 'Oh nothing dear, you'd be safe' I of course asked her why and you know what her f-cking response was?"

Waiting for Gigi to continue talking I glanced over at her. After realizing she wasn't going to tell without me giving some sort of response I settled for "No, please do continue"

"Zombies only eat brains', she really said that! To me, her daughter!"

Not even trying to hide it, I bursted out laughing "Man, your mom is one sassy gal for sure" I patted her on the back while we continued walking towards my car.