I hated the citrus perfume wafting up my nostrils as I entered the Therapist's office.
"Very... Shrink-like." Topher commented.
He appeared this morning after breakfast, asking if he could tag along during my session.
We were both at a small waiting area. Their were a handful of people there, an asian woman and her younger son, an old balding man, a young boy-probably my age-in a red striped sweatshirt and lastly, a weird gypsy-looking girl with fiery orange hair.
"Thank you." I whispered in Topher's ear. "For coming with me here."
He smiled."I don't have anything better to do, Merci. Better here than at home watching sesame street reruns with Chris."
"Chris?"
"My little brother. He's in the same class with your kid sister, Sophie." He said nervously, probably afraid that the name mention would make me feel sad.
But I surprised him by the treacherous giggles escaping my lips.
"What are you chuckling about?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Your name's Topher. His name is Chris. I just found it funny and ironic. Sorry." I said sheepishly.
"Ironic?" He raises an eyebrow again. Giving me a very signature Topher-ish look. "My real name is Christopher Samuels. Chris' real name is Christian Samuels. We had those nicknames as a private joke between my parents. We agreed once that my parents were weird."
"I wish I remembered that."
Topher puckered his lips, blowing off the stray hair on his forehead. " I wish you would, too. I miss my bestfriend."
I gave him a half-hearted smile. The air suddenly felt heavy and hot while my cheeks burned red and an unmistakable blush crawled up my neck.
A woman came out the Therapist's room and tapped her clipboard once before saying,"Mercicus love? For Dr. Muria"
Slowly, I stood up from my seat and the woman said," Dr. Muria would like to see you now." With that, she opened the door again and gestured me to follow her in. I looked at Topher with uncertainty.
"Go." He said, " I'll be fine. They have girly teen vogue magazines here to occupy my time. I can wait."
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I'm kidding! I have my other bestfriend with me." He pulls out an Ipod from his pocket.
The woman tapped her clipboard again and cleared her throat. I trailed behind her, entering a darkened room.
I couldn't help that nagging feeling inside me that I've seen this place before. That I've sat in that familiar cushioned chair beside that plumpy proper-dressed woman with a white long coat who said," It's nice meeting you once more, Miss Love. It's been awhile since I've seen you."
She smiled and patted the cushioned chair twice," Come have a seat. I'm sure you want to open up more this time."
******
"How do you know me?" I asked taking a seat, resting my back comfortably.
"You came here about a year ago. Telling me a whole lot about your nightmares and your problems. Then I found out that you have amnesia, I want to help you, Mercicus." She said, crossing her legs.
I shook my head."I think you can't."
"Why?" She tilts her head.
I hesitated. I don't know if I could trust this woman. But I suddenly realise something....She knows me.
"Let's start, shall we?" She asks without waiting for my answer.
I nodded slowly.
"Do you want to talk about these...changes your experiencing? The confusion? The questions you want to ask? Please, just go ahead." She urged me.
My lips started cracking. It was dry as my mouth.
"You have to open up at some point, Mercicus." She said, "You're scared and terrified. You feel alone with no one to trust and you don't know yourself or anyone around you. That must be a very heavy baggage to carry around."
You're good I thought.
But not even a sound came out of me. Not even a small squeak.
"Please, Mercicus. I want to help." She says with a friendly smile.
I gulped."I think someone wanted to hurt me, that's why I went missing."
"What makes you say that?" Her eyebrows furrowed.
"I kept a diary, and I found it somewhere... inappropriate for hiding. I read it and I kept mentioning a stalker who leaves me messages. And weirdly enough, I think the fire on my birthday venue was no accident. I knew something bad would happen, and to top it all off.. I can make a very long list of people who despise me. So it's safe to say that someone did try to hurt me." I was surprised about how strong my voice sounded.
She blinked once. Twice. Perhaps processing what I said. "Have you told your family yet?"
"They're dead." My voice broke. A sudden ache spread across my chest.
She nodded,"I knew that. I was reffering to your Aunt and cousin."
I gulped. Should I tell her?
After a few minutes of silent debating inside my head, Dr.Muria must've noticed that argument playing with the emotions crossing my face and the stiff position of my body and the unmaskable heat coming off my skin, swirling around this suddenly stuffy room.
"Mercicus? Don't you trust your family?"
I shook my head."No...But I don't have enough reasons to be honest with them, either."
"Why is that?" She asks sadly.
I bit my lower lip before saying," Because I have to solve this puzzle on my own. I was clever, I know that, clever enough to scatter the pieces for someone to find. I knew I was going to die. And I made sure that if I did, they would find the killer. Luckily, I just lost my memory... But it's all in here -I pointed at my head- I could feel that my memories are still here."
Dr.Muria pursed her lips and grabbed a handful of tapes behind her desk. "This was our last session. I recorded it all in those tapes, this must be very confusing for you, Mercicus. But I whenever you need help... give me a call." She hands me the tapes and a calling card.
I nodded, "When was our last session?"
"The morning of October 20." She said, looking at her clipboard.
I nearly fell off my chair."Did you say October 20? Last year?"
She nodded. Then she pointed out her old appointment documents and sure enough 9:00- 9:20 MERCICUS LOVE / OCTOBER 20, 2011
I laughed nervously and shook my head in disbelief.
"What's wrong?" Dr.Muria asked.
Tears streamed down my eyes."I don't understand.., That's impossible..That can't be right.. Oh, God... How c-could t-that happen?"
"Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?"
"No!" I yelled in a poor hoarse voice."You don't understand. That's impossible."
"The appointment? You were here Mercicus. You talked to me and even left with a friend of yours."
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "I don't remember... But October 20 was the day I went missing."
YOU ARE READING
Smoke and shattered mirrors
Teen FictionMy name is Mercicus Love, but often called Merci. I`ve gone missing since my sixteenth birthday after a terrible accident that led me to forgetting my charmed life and identity. Amnesia, as the official diagnostics put it. But when i returned to my...