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Saturday #1

I can't move or see or think or breathe, my throats closing and I can't scream, the water from my tears stream down my face and i can't take the darkness away, the fear, the depression.

Derek is gone and I'm thrown into a room with nothing but pitch black terror, I scream , but no one can hear, I bang on the walls and no one hears, I give up and I sit in the corner and I cry and panic and begin to hyperventilate , a hand is placed on my shoulder and I scream a high pitch scream, knowing no one will hear.

But then I wake up

I sit up and I shake an shiver and I cry hard and pull my knees to my chest and tuck my head away, I scream the words "WHY AM I FUVKING INSANE?!" And I feel arms wrap around me. Derek , I open up to him and hug him tighly, I cry hard into his arms and after a while I pull my face away to look into his eyes but their soulless and black and I hear him say "goodbye" and then I awake again. And no body is here, I'm alone

And he's gone

I grab my knife, and place it against my leg, I began to drag it but then Derek grabs it and takes it away, I cry and he kisses me and pushes himself ontop of me and he whipsers "no dream of yours will take you away from me " I started to whimper and he kissed me hard and , things led to another thing and I'm not depressed anymore , I love him and I hope he never leaves me

This all happened Friday, today is Saturday, and It's 4 am, I'm getting sleepy and my bed is bloody, I'm going to cry myself to sleep..

Goodnight.