CHAPTER ONE

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You know when you wake up from a nap and you're not too sure of what time it is, or of where or even who you are? That's how disoriented I feel right now. The 7 missed calls from my best friend remind me that I was actually napping in preparation for this party later tonight... For which I'm now late. Oh well. It's always the same anyway, so I know I'm not missing much. I hop in the shower quickly, put on a light sweater and leave my apartment.

The restaurant opening I was going to wasn't actually too far, so I walk there. I make it in 12 minutes, and Emily sees me as soon as I step in the door.
"Adam! Finally! You took your sweet time getting here!" she says as she hugs me.
"Sorry Em, I took a nap and didn't wake up in time. What did I miss?"
"The first three rounds? Come on, let's go catch up!"
She drags me to the open bar where I order my first vodka soda of the night. And definitely not the last.

These types of parties were fun in the beginning. I felt very VIP and cool to be invited, but now I realize it's just the same fake people trying to impress other basic people with made up achievements. Not really my style. I get bored after only an hour here, so when Emily tells me they're going to an after-party at a friend of a friend's, I don't question it and follow. A bunch of us get in the Uber which goes a bit too fast for my taste — or for the alcohol level in my blood — and in a flash, we're there. We all leave and I'm just glad it's not my rating that will go down for this ride.

When inside, I see a few of my ex's friends, and I'm still on good terms with them so I go say hi and let Emily take a lap, too. The change of scenery is welcome, but since I wasn't even in a party mood to begin with, this becomes an apartment party with too many people I am uninterested in getting to know. So I sneak a bottle of wine and sit on the couch with the people getting high. Maybe a bit of second-hand smoke will do me good? When Emily finally joins me, I've drunk three quarters of that bottle and I'm not aware of how drunk I am.
"Hey Em! Hi! Where have you been all night! Weren't we here together? It's like we barely saw each other!" I say, slurring my words.
"Okay, Adam!" she says as she takes the bottle from my hands, "that's enough of that for you!"
She brings the bottle to her own lips and chugs it, so I cannot possibly drink any more. She hands it back, empty, kisses my forehead like we often do, and gets up to go back to her other friends who are in a better mood than I am.
"Make good choices!" I yell out at her.

I sink back into the couch and close my eyes. I don't know how much time has passed when I open them in a panic. Someone just shrieked. I get my bearings, having to remember for the second time today where I am after dozing off. I quickly realize what caused this girl to yell as a lot of people crowd the door.

Of course he'd be here...

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