The Only

Begin

I dread change, whether it's a small diversion or a major one.

And, in the past few months, major is all that I, Kim Taehyung, have come to know.

I used to live in a beautiful place called Incheon. It was a peaceful, neighborly environment that I grew fond of overtime.

It's a hobby of mine to admire beauty—the kind of beauty that not many others take the time to notice and take in. So, the views were the most memorable. Setting or rising, I'd watch the sun as it shone through the many stony structures of different homes. Sometimes, I'd watch it with my friends, and others by myself.

It's one of those sights that you'd never forget.

Incheon always held an essence of wholesomeness with everyone that inhabited it. Everyone knew one another, and it was unlikely that someone had friction with someone else. It was a place where comfort and joy was given and received, and friendships were easy to make. That was why it was so attractive in the first place, especially for my family.

Hell, maybe that's one of the reasons why my parents desired to move there.

It was considered a place that I can call home; my home.

I guess, this is where change comes in.

Change is a time when things can start anew, or more so, when a chapter ends, and another begins. Though, this isn't about a simple personal or characteristic change, but it can be. It's a natural concept for a human to shape and grow into who they are, but in this case, it's much more than that.

See, my life now is different than it was in Incheon. My extended family thinks it's what's best, but for the most part, I don't know what to think. I've learned that speaking my thoughts is useless, because I don't have a choice anymore.

I must accept the fact that everything is gone.

There's a few urgent knocks on the wooden barrier that separated myself from reality, and it did a great job of shaking me out of my thoughts.

Oh, how I've been waiting for this day.

Not.

Today, I start my junior year of high school and I wouldn't want nothing more than to have that idea crumpled up and thrown into an imaginary shredder. The whole summer was a recuperation process. All I did was sleep, sleep, and sleep some more since it was all that I could bring myself to do.

Call it a routine that was self-prescribed, but hey, it worked.

It kept my mind off most things that are wrong in life, but sometimes, it'd come to bite me in my dreams, or more so, my nightmares. It's worse to fall asleep and let the vivid images consume you. I'd rather drown in my thoughts all day than go to sleep and witness it like it's been recorded on tape. Everyone thinks I'm going to die from lack of sunlight, and I thought I was going to die from the feeling of being constricted.

"Yo, get ready," Jimin said. "School starts soon, and I want to show you the route."

Jimin's my cousin. The brown-haired, brown-eyed, popular, and not-exactly-a-close-cousin-of-mine, Jimin. From what I've observed, he's a bit of a dolt. There's no time for boasting, but if I'm going to compare him to myself, I can safely say that I score higher on the spectrum of intelligence.

That's all the details that I have, because I don't really hang out with him as much as I should. Since summer began, I've been living in his home; my Aunt Kim's.

In the first few weeks of moving in, Jimin tried to be sociable with me. He'd try to invite me everywhere. After a thousand rejections, he got the memo that I'm not talkative, cool, or an interesting family member (or, person, for that matter).