It's Okay if you don't love me, yet *A SHOEY FANFIC*

Chapter 23: Not a sl*t. {Kinda smutty, sensitive subjects}

A/N-The chapter had a warning before you opened it. It's your fault now.

{Joeys Pov}

Shane pulled the car into our driveway, avoiding Meghan's. They must be home. He leaned in to kiss me, and I kissed him back. He slid his hands under my shirt.

Joey: Shane stop....

I moaned as he continued. My eyes grew wide when he started to grind himself against me. I put my hands on his hips and pushed him off me.

Shane: What's wrong?

Joey: I'm tired, and you're always trying to get at me.

Shane: You're just really attractive. Sorry.

He blushed, and leaned back in to kiss me. I pushed him away from me.

Joey: Please stop. I'm not a sl*t.

Shane: You're not a virgin either. I don't know why you like to be so hard to get.

Joey: I'm not, but I was.

Shane looked at me and his eyes grew wide.

Joey: What are you looking at?

I asked, brushing my hair from my eyes.

Shane: You.. W-were a v-virgin..?

He stuttered.

Joey: Yeah, before we had sex that one time. That's the we you loose your virginity, Shane. If you didn't know.

I rolled my eyes at him. We were already like a real couple. Not that we were real, we have been real for two weeks and like, 2 days, but we were over that bubbliness. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Our relationship is real.

Shane: I know. I just didn't know you were a virgin. Why didn't you tell me?

Joey: Why does it matter?

Shane: Because I took your innocence without knowing I was!

Shane acted like this was such a big deal, but it wasn't to me. It's not like there was a big sign above my head that said 'He's not a virgin anymore!' And pointed down at me.

Joey: What's wrong? It's not a big deal, honestly.

Shane: It should've been more special for you.

Joey: It was perfectly special!

Shane: No it wasn't. You didn't enjoy it. You tolerated me because I wanted it.

Joey: Who said it wasn't enjoyable for me? How would you even know?

Shane: Sorry. I'm just.. I don't know. I wish you would've told me. That's not just a gift I can give back to you for Christmas or something.

Joey: And you're not even upset that you lost your virginity to me? How do you know you enjoyed it?

Shane's eyes seemed to darken as he was deep in thought. He looked back up at me, looking like he had just been traumatized. He shook it off.

Shane: Because.. I did. I enjoyed it.

{Shanes Pov}

Joey talking about my virginity brought shivers down my back. I didn't want to rememberanything about that b*stard of a dad, but it made me panic. It brought back terrible memories, but the thing he did that made me think of Him while talking about it with Joey was the worst thing he ever did to me.

Joey: You're looking sickish. Should we go inside?

I looked back up at him. He had sympathy in his eyes. The topic had made me felt hollow inside. To think, all the things he did to me most likely lead to the possessiveness I had over Joey. And probably lead to why I constantly bugged him about doing 'stuff'. The way I had to prove to everyone Joey was mine, even if that meant leaving marks on him, more or less signifying love, but to me signified that if someone came close to doing anything more than giving a hug to him, I'd kick their a**. The way if had to stand up to that lady, and make out with Joey instead of ignoring her in the first place. The way I had to buy matching shirts with him, that represented our love, so everyone knew we were a thing. This wasn't just love I had for Joey, but also possessiveness. I treated the smaller boy as something I owned. As if anyone tried to steal him from me, I'd probably rip that person limb from limb. These thoughts ran and ran through my mind. I have control issues. And it's all because of the man that I cant even call a father, but simply an abusive sperm donor. I figured that's why I liked it when Joey called me as something as authority as well. Why am I like this?

Joey: Shane? Do you need to sleep?

His beautiful voice brought me out from my flash back. I felt tears run down my face, before I began to sob.

Joey: Shane!

He held me in his arms, and carried me inside. It was getting pretty d*mn hot in the car. I felt him set me down on the bed, and I heard Meghan and David rushing up the stairs behind him,

Meghan: What happened to Shane??

Joey: I think he's tired. Is their something wrong Shane?

Shane: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!

Those were only the words I could get out.

David: What are you talking about Shane?

I pulled Joey close to my face.

{Joeys Pov}

Shane pulled me close to his face. What was he so upset about? He didn't do anything wrong.

Shane: You're a human Joey. A man. A delicate, sensitive, beautiful man who deserves to be treated with respect and care. Not an object. You are not owned by anyone, especially me. You are your own person. You're a strong, independent person. I don't know why I'm so possessive over you, or why I treat you like a toy-

Joey: You guys should probably leave before he gets too much into detail.

I shot them a look. Not a mean look, but a stern look. They have me an understanding look back, and walked out of the room closing the door behind them.

Shane: I'll continue. You're not a toy that I can use and do whatever to whenever I want. It's just I was treated like that all my life, and it's made me feel the need to not be owned, but to own. I don't know why. You deserve someone so much better than me-

With that I slammed my lips into his, cutting off his rambling. He didn't need to feel like he was being too controlling.

Joey: It's okay, Shane.. I... I like it.

It was difficult to bring back the bad memories I had blocked from my mind. The ones where I was the last one chosen to play football, or even forced to cheer with the cheerleaders because I wasn't manly enough. How I was the last one picked as a project partner, because I wasn't funny, or smart. I was that gay kid. That looser. I finished talking.

Joey: I like it. I like being owned. I like being yours and only yours. I like being the person you come to if you want or need something. I was never wanted before. I was always the last one picked for everything. I was always alone. You're the first boyfriend I ever had. I'm glad I lost my virginity to you.

Shane kissed me passionately, and mumbled 'Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou' over and over into the kiss, as he explored the inside of my mouth. He slowly pulled away.

Joey: I love you too.

I said with a shaky voice as he trembled below me. He looked so fragile, as if I could push my finger into his skin ever so slightly, and leave the biggest bruise he'd ever seen. It was different.

Shane: Do you mean it?

Joey: Forever and always. It's okay if you don't love me yet, though.

{A/N: I LOVE IT WHEN THEY SAY THE BOOK TITLES IN BOOKS}

Shane: I do. I love you too. Forever and always.