Okay so I edited this one shot because the one that I wrote before was really dumb and I thought on a way to fix it, so I totally changed the whole subject but it's still about Nat trying to commit suicide (sorry guys😬)
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Natasha was lost. 3 years ago she lost most of her closest friends, her family. She tried to move on, she really tried, but when the ones that didn't snapped started leaving, she started to break.
Tony left the compound and moved into a beautiful house near a lake with Pepper so they can start the family they always wanted, Steve got a big apartment in Brooklyn and started supporting sessions to people that have no one to talk about what happened, though he told Natasha that he would come visit, he came only once. Bruce got underground ( which is not new to her, sadly), Thor just left after he killed Thanos, and Clint, well a few weeks ago Rhody found a big crime scene in a night mafia club in China and by the scene that was left and the bows and arrows in the scene he started thinking that he knew who did this. So he took the security cameras of the place and sent them to Natasha, asking her if she recognized the style of fighting, even with black clothes and a mask, she knew it was Clint, but she didn't want to believe it. After a few more incidents like this Rhody and his crew confirmed it was Clint.
She filled her bath tub with water, and took a big and sharp knife and put it on the counter near the bath.
She wasn't hesitated, she was sure with what she was doing, she knew what she was doing and knew there was no turning back. No one was in the compound so no one would help her, she got on the bath, slowly with heavy breathing, really afraid. She couldn't live in this fear anymore, all of her friends left, even if some was still alive, they are not there. She hoped to find some magical way to bring everybody back but still, there was nothing. They were gone. Forever. So she thought she should be gone too. She took the knife and started.
Tony got into the compound to take some stuff he left there, he remembered Natasha was in the compound and wanted to say hello, and maybe talk to her if she needed, Rhody told him about how she reacted to Clint being a criminal. he came to her office, but she wasn't there, he got in her room, but she wasn't there too. he figured that she might be out to grocery shopping, but he heard the sound of water flowing from the shower, and figured she might be in the shower. He knocked on the door and yelled out to her "Hey Nat it's Tony, just wanted to tell you in here I couldn't find you. I really wanted to talk to you so when you'll come out let me know okay?" there was no respond but he thought she was just in middle of her thoughts or because of the water running sound. About 5 minutes later, he started to worry, she was probably her before he came, so would she take a shower for 20 minutes and show no sign of life? So he decided to call FRIDAY.
"Hi FRIDAY is Nat taking a shower, just a simple yes or no answer will be enough, no detailing" he asked the robot "I'm afraid not sir. She is not taking a shower." she answered "So what the hell is she doing in there?!" Tony asked angry and worried "I'm very sorry sir, Miss Romanoff's heart beats slow and she is going to pass in a few minutes without medical help." Tony almost passed out. Natasha? Suicide? She doesn't look like that type, of course if he went through what she went through, he would probably miss an arm, but Natsha, she was strong. What was her reason? "FRIDAY call an ambulance." he said while breaking the door and looking at her pale body, in a pool of blood. God he never have seen her like this before. He was so scared.
After taking her to the hospital, the doctors took her to the emergency room and 2 hours later they said that she is stable, but she's still out. Tony got back to the compound to grab some clothes, assuming she would be much comfortable with her own belongings instead of the hospital's. When he got inside the laundry room he met his old pal, Steve Rogers.
"Hey" Steve said not knowing what to say "Hi umm do you know where Natasha's clothes are?" Tony asked him "No... But where is she?" "at the hospital"
Steve's eyes widened. Hospital? What the hell happened? Is she hurt? Is she sick? "why hospital?"
Steve asked tried to remain calm when he had a storm of feelings inside him "She tried to kill herself, it's lucky I found her, if I wasn't there she was probably dead by now" Tony said and Steve joined hands " ho- how is she?" "stable, I was Just coming to take some of her stuff. Do you want to go visit her?" Tony asked Steve, obviously knowing the answer ahead "ye- yeah I'll come with you. And I don't know where her clothes are but I know she likes oversized so I'll just give her one of my sweatpants and hoodies" Steve told tony and threw him some clothes.
On their way to the hospital Steve was overthinking, with his heart and mind. He loved Natasha, it was no secret for him, be loved her company and how she is always by his side when he needs her, it made him fall in love little by little. When they were on the run together he realised that and confessed to himself about it. He didn't knew the reason she tried doing that, he was really afraid to see her, not knowing if she will want to see him too.
Once they got there they had to wait until she will wake up and will be allowed to have visitors. One hour later they said each one will have to come in on their turn, because a big amount of people will increase he pressure. Tony told Steve he should come first, Almost all of the team knew how he felt about her, even Natasha herself couldn't deny the fact that she might feel something too.
The minute they let Steve in, he looked over to her, she was pale, and attached to a lot of strings and machines, he didn't know how she couldn't be nervous about it. She played with a string that was attached to her hand vein and then looked up to the muscular figure in front of her, the minute she looked up, she didn't have time to say a word before he took her into a big and loving hug. "oh God Nat" he whispered to her, tears in both his and her's eyes.
"Steve" she said while crying, feeling more weak than ever. After a couple minutes of quiet, Steve pulled away on their hug "Are you okay?" Steve asked, a worried look on his face. Natasha didn't answered, she wasn't okay.
She wasn't sure how she got there, she didn't asked. she assumed either Tony or Steve got to the compound to do some of their own business. Steve was in her room for like 15 minutes until the doctor asked him to go out for an exam, and Tony only came in after the exam to try talk to her. She wasn't willing to talk, she didn't knew how to sum all what's going on with her in a few sentences. After a few days she got better, she talked and did all of her routine as usual, but still didn't talk about the reason she tried what she did. They let her go back to the compound, but she needs someone to hang with her, son she won't be like for the next few weeks. Both Tony and Steve wanted to help her so they did shifts. One week Tony and one week Steve. Steve got into the compound and found Natsha in her office talking to Rhody, she looked like she was about to cry any minute now, when Rhody hung up she put her head in her hands and started sobbing quietly. "Was the meeting that bad?" Steve asked teasingly. She put her smile on, the fake one and looked up to him
"maybe" "what's going on Nat" Steve asked and sat down at the chair across her. "Too much" he answer was simple and quick. "Natasha please, I know you don't want to talk about what happened but you gotta throw me a bone here. Tony is worried about you, I'm worried about you." he explains to her "Now you're worried about me. Wow. Were you worried about me when you left?" she said sarcastically "is that what it's about?" he asked curious, was he the reason she tried to hurt herself? Oh my God. "You can guess that yourself" she was the mean, closed and heartless Natasha, but it wasn't her, he needed to pull out his Natsha, his loving, caring and sensitive one, the one he loves the most.
"god Nat you can't do this to me. You are here trying to hurt yourself and you think that in cool with it? That I will let you do it again?! I'm not here for myself I'm here for you! And now you won't even talk to me? I'm trying to help you! Trying to talk to you! And this is your respond? If you want to play meanie lets play! I'm leaving." he really meant to leave, to show her if she won't talk and collaborate with him, he will leave. He is playing her game. He took his jacket and moved towards the door, until an arm caught his wrost and pulled him into a hug. "Steve no, please don't leave. I'm begging you" she asked softly in his chest, tears in her eyes "Nat I need you to talk to me" he said quietly "I will I promise. Just stay"
Steve stayed as Natasha asked, and she talked as he asked. She told him everything. How she feels about the snap, how she was broken when everyone left and she stayed alone, and what happened with Clint.
He didn't knew she felt like that, if he knew he would never leave. She answered some of his questions about some stuff and he answered her about how Tony is the one to drive her to the hospital and how he got there. "I really think you should go talk to Tony. He was really worried" Steve said and Natsha laughed "It's hard to believe but I know Tony to long to know how he respond to bodies" they both laughed and went quite for a few seconds until Steve broke the silence "Umm Nat I really... Umm... I really like you. For a long time, and I know you'll probably say no but.... Do you want to go to a dinner this weekend?" Steve said nervously. She didn't respond at first she was really shocked, but then she jumped on him and kissed him passionately. "Is that a yes?" Steve asked after they pulled apart "Yes" she laughed "thank you Steve" she said softly "it's okay. You need to rest now okay?" Steve told.
She was not alone anymore.
