Soulless ✔️

Chapter 38

Zaya's pov:

Soulmates used to be a difficult term for me to understand. But now I know it in all aspects that I can think of.

He gave that word meaning. Every morning when I wake up, he's the first thought that swirls around in my mind.

He's my soulmate. My best friend. My lover. He's my happy place.

Watching him smile or hearing his laugh was the greatest blessing.

And now that world came crashing down on me. Crushing me as the blank eyes of my mate stared back at me. Everything stopped, even time itself seemed to slow down.

I'll never hear his voice again. I know he'll never call again. I'll never tremble at his sweet caress. His scent will no longer be filling my nose and wrapping around all of my senses. It hit me like a train. All the memories, all the feelings, all the inside jokes. I remember every single kiss and every single touch. I remember how we met and the infamous butterflies when he took my hand in his for the first time. I feel physically sick, suffocating and even my heart seems to stop beating

One by one every other person faded out. Nothing else mattered until it was just him and I. I couldn't move, my lungs forgot how to function. And my heart, goddess it hurt so bad. Shattering into a million pieces I'll never be able to put together again. Everything was numb inside and I don't know if what's worse. Feeling everything one moment or feeling nothing as I can feel the ground crumble beneath me.

Alex falling down on his knees next to his brother faded. Caleb not knowing who to comfort first didn't matter. Noah and his grief didn't register.

Make it stop. I feel so painfully numb, so hopeless. It felt like I was already dead then, even when I was still standing on my swaying legs, with my knees ready to buckle from beneath me. Why am I not there beside you? Dead? I have no reason now. Not anymore. You were my purpose. You were the light at the end of the tunnel. But now I'm still stuck in the tunnel with the walls closing in on me. All I seem to be breathing is this poisonous gas that suffocates me when I need oxygen. Maybe I should just give in and let it consume me. Maybe I should just let it run through my veins and let it engulf me.

I'm broken. I though I've been broken before but this is an all time low that I'll never come back from. Deacon won.

He won.

Vera was twisting and howling in pain in my mind but I felt the exact moment when she snapped. She stopped abruptly and got up with only one thing clear in her mind: Kill

She was filled with blinding hot rage that consumed her, consumed me. This is us standing at the brink of our own chaos, the floods and the hurricanes. This is us falling apart, breaking to pieces during earthquakes of trauma. But I'm letting the walls crumble, I'm letting it all in. The force of it bringing me down to my knees.

Blinding hot rage. Sizzling at the top, boiling over. Flowing through my veins.

It consumes me.

And I don't fight it. The rage is a blessing compared to the agony.

Vera takes over completely, mind and body as I'm thrown into the corner of my mind where she was just falling apart. My eyes flash and glow amber as Vera takes the reigns.

Red.

All I see is red.

My form shakes violently as a forced shift wants to break free but the anger even stifles that. I'm crouched down on all fours while my body still vibrates, my eyes on my mate. Suddenly, the shaking stops and I'm numb from grief mixed with agony mixed with anger. All directed towards Deacon.

He did this.

Vera snarls and she wants blood. Nothing can stop her in our current state. So fragile, so broken. So deadly.

Vera turns around and focuses our icy glare on his form alone. Nothing else in the room matters except him. Dead.

Deacon seems to realise Vera's intentions as he stops laughing, a flicker of fear flashes through his eyes. But it's not enough, I need more.

Dead, dead, dead.

These thoughts drift through every art of me, fuelling my anger. Kill.

Vera takes agonising slow steps towards Deacon. My fist clenching at my side. My eyes never leaving his. Gold clashing with brown in a war that only one will step out of.

Dead. Kill him. Dead

I didn't hear or feel the struggles the wolves in my way tried to put up. It was over before they even tried anyway. Any wolf standing in my way of Deacon got ripped apart.

She didn't stop until all of Deacon's wolves were dead. Our wolves were told off by Caleb, he knew this was something I had to do alone.

Vera shifted and bolted towards Deacon, tearing his legs apart so he can't run.

His screams of pain did nothing to satisfy me, he deserves worse.

I opened my Lycan link for the first time in several years, letting the connection flood me. I want Deacon to hear me.

"You took my life, my pack, my family. You ripped it all from me and I did nothing to stand against you. But I'm done." I spoke clearly to him as I make my way slowly to him. Every time his limbs heal, I simply tear them apart again. I'm not finished yet.

"You ruined my life and so many other wolves. The goddess gave you a responsibility and you abused it. You're sick Deacon. You told me I'm weak. You lied. You promised that you'll break me. You failed."

"I know it's a common belief that Lycans can't die but nothing is impossible. We heal faster and our limbs grow back. How can something heal if there's nothing left?" Fear flashes through his eyes and I knew I was right. I can and I will kill him.

I started slowly ripping him apart. "You killed my mate! You didn't even have the decency to do it properly in a fight! I hope you rot in hell!" I was ripping him to shreds at lightning speed and I refused to stop. Flesh and broken bones mixed with blood on the floor until you couldn't tell what was what anymore.

Still, I didn't stop.

I felt a hand land on my blood soaked fur. "Zaya stop. It's over. There's nothing left." Caleb whispered to me but I still didn't stop. I shrugged his hand off and growled, roared, scratched and tore apart whatever I could find.

I was tackled to the ground by Noah. "Zaya stop!" He pins me to the ground but my jaws still snap at him. "Stop, he's gone. This won't help." I register the pain in his voice and the grief falls upon my chest like a train and I struggle to draw oxygen to my lungs.

He's gone. He's gone. He's...

Dead

My eyes shift between blue and gold as we both want and don't want control of the grief. But we both feel it either way. I whine as Noah gets off of me and I limb towards Ezra's form, collapsing next to him.

My voice comes out in mixes of screams and growls as I can't control my shifts. I'm wolf one second and then human the next. In either form I cry my heart out

The strain of the forced shifts are too much on my body and darkness creeps up on me and I'm soon consumed by it until nothing is left but the grief lingers even in the darkness

----------