Addicted to You

XXVII

Hermione woke up again in his arms and this time it was morning, and unlike the other day, this morning did not bring with it fear, insecurity, doubt or guilt. It was a marvel that they had finally had the realization that this was greater than their egos and they would be fools to let it go by. They had somehow managed to drag themselves into the bedroom and fall into an exhausted sleep after the events of last night and she woke up well rested and exultant. When she turned around she was even more exuberant to see Snape's contented face next to hers, sleeping peacefully.

She lightly bit her lip because she was unable to stop herself from leaning in and waking him up by kissing his lips slowly and softly until he opened his eyes. His mouth was pulled into a smile and his eyes were warm.

"Morning," he said in his sexy, just-woken-up groggy voice.

"How are you?"

He sighed. "I had some bad nights...Last night was a good one in a long while."

"Well, I'm here now." she merrily pointed out.

He smiled and pulled her closer. "That's all I ever wanted. And I think, it'll get better from now on."

"Funny thing is, that's all I ever want." she said, "Anything you want- anything that will hopefully make you-"

"I want to be with you."

"I just want you to be happy."

"I'm working on that." he replied.

She realized there were things that he wanted to say and she patiently waited for him to take his own time to begin. She watched him, more clear than ever in the early morning light.

"I don't need to confess my flaws and wrongdoings to you, you know me better than anyone on this earth. My adolescence was...extremely unpleasant. The things that I saw and heard and later chose to do because of that adolescence..." he trailed off, before continuing, "No matter how hard I try, no matter how long I surrendered my will to two masters, no matter how hard I tried to avenge Lily and keep her son safe, I cannot go back and change what I've experienced and what I have done. I cannot rewrite those years of my life. And I cannot alter how I let them effect me."

"But you can choose how you move forward from those experiences." Hermione offered.

He looked at her and replied, "I believe...that is what I'm trying to do now. And I have more of a reason to try now than ever before."

She chewed her lips. "I-" she broke off to take a deliberating breath, as it pained her to say what she thought. "I don't want to be your only reason for trying. I'm afraid, if I'm your sole motivation, you'll- you'll fail."

Her maturity impressed him. "No, you misunderstand me. You have certainly played a great part, but my motivation to be better is my own. What I meant was, now I have someone who I care about, who, I also know that I want to see happy, whom I don't wanna hurt and most importantly, someone who I believe, wants me too and cares about me. That is a very good reason to make the effort to be better."

She smiled now, glad. "Well, I wish to continue to help you, in every way...if you'll let me."

She touched his face adoringly and he gazed back at her, fond and content, as he cupped his hand over hers. It was then that she discovered a bruise on his hand- she had failed to notice it last night in the dark but now she saw it clearly in the sunlight.

"What's this?" She sat up to examine his hand carefully; the knuckles of his right hand were a bit swollen, in places the skin had broken and it had darkened where the blood had clotted underneath. "What happened?"